Mistakes. - Comments

I'm here from comment swap as well! I don't really know anything about The Maine, but I did think that this fic so far keeps the attention, and you have developed your characters quite nicely and laid good groundwork for the story! It's a shame this hasn't been updated in so long.

Hello, I am here from comment swap!

Well, I'm not really a fan of these types of stories, but when I read over yours it was actually quite enjoyable c:

You're a very good writer, your descriptions are clear and I am able to picture everything vividly in my head, although I think some of you chapters are rather dominated by speech. Maybe take some more time to describe something more thoroughly, even if it is a tiny detail. I'm not saying your description is bad, because it is really fabulous, but more of the fabulousness would be awesome.

Then when I did arrive good lord! The task of finding a parking space was immense, when I did find one I parked and hopped out, my old campervan standing out next to all the flashy little sports cars around it.

I liked this excerpt the most, as it really full of personality, if that makes sense, and it's quite an emotive and expressive paragraph. The good lord phrase added extra emphasis onto it, as phrases such as that are usually used to stress a certain theme. Your spelling and grammar is impeccable, which is amazing, and you were very successful in encapsulating the feelings of an ordinary girl starting a new school, successful enough that I could feel empathy for her.

This comment is all over the place, isn't it?

Anyway, what I'm trying to say is that it was very enjoyable, and I am recommending it because it's excellent. Thank you for writing this, I suppose.

honest to whatever, i'm really really liking this one. more updates, please and thanks!

Comment swap brought me here.

Okay so first things first, I haven't got a Gallifrey on Earth on who the Maine are so I'm confused and haven't read past the first chapter. The layout is fair, it could use alot of work but the Summary seems a bit off, you could put more detail in it. Try and seperate your paragraphs so they aren't long and we aren't reading on forever Other than that I will try and find out who the Maine are so I can get back to reading this :)

(Comment Swap on mine; The Girl Who Made A Choice)

i love this fanfiction so much! is it okay if i sponsor it on my Maine tumblr blog?:)

Comment swap has brought me upon your story. Sadly, due to the lack of time on my hands, I didn't get to read past the first chapter. Also, I have no idea who the Maine is but *shrug* it was nice to read. Keep it up.

Comment swap brought me here, and I'm really glad it did! I agree with the others, and I too don't know much about the Maine, but your fic is really helping. One thing I will say, and this is just me being picky, but add a few more descriptions of things (as I said it’s just me being extra picky!) Keep it up, you're doing a great job :) x

@ Everybody Dies;

@ eminems_stan93

Thank you both for your comments, I have edited my story to make it comply to the rules the best I can!

Comment swap sent me here.

So, I have a confession. I love The Maine, but I couldn't tell you any of their names! So, well done on the band choice, I might just make a few mistakes if referring to them or anything, haha! I'm kinda disappointed that you've not made use of a custom layout. It's really worth the time and effort to add a custom layout, it draws people in more.

I actually have the same issue as eminems_stan93 did. Your dialogue and paragraphs have absolutely no line breaks between them, which makes it incredibly difficult to continue reading. No one wants to be met with a wall of text when they go to read, so I'd suggest sorting that out. Double-line-spacing is either an actual rule or an unwritten rule on here. I can't remember what one exactly, so you're always best to make sure you've got a space between your lines. You also rarely, if ever, use capital letters, which is a big grammar no-no. Each new section of dialogue should start with a capital letter. You also don't use punctuation after your dialogue, which s, again, grammatically correct. You should be doing something like this;

"Hi dad," I smiled...

or;

"Have fun Big T," he smiled.

Always remember that your article (right word?), with the exception of names, places and the word 'I' is in lowercase completely.

You also seem to have made use of quite a limited vocabulary, as is shown above by the repetition of the word 'smiled'. Try writing, and then going through your work with a thesaurus to hand. I find it works wonders.

Overall, you've got a good story basis here, but the grammar and formatting issues are preventing me from reading on any further. I would go back through your chapters with a fine-toothed comb, and take a look at the things I have suggested. Like I said, your idea is good, and incorrect formatting and grammar shouldn't ruin it. Good luck!

Comment Swap.
Okay, I have no idea who The Maine is and I seem to be getting a lot of stories about them. I always like to be honest when I'm commenting on peoples stories. So here it goes. The dialouge is bunched up there should be a space between every sentence in which someone speaks. Also you don't use capital letters. There were a few mistakes and the paragraphs, again are smooshed together.
I like where you are going with this I think it's a good effort but maybe you should really go back and edit it. Just incase you get heaps of comment swappers commenting on that issue alone, they probably will. I only read the first chapter so I don't know if the rest of the story is like this so I recommend you edit it.