The Ballad of a Dove - Comments

Oh wow, that was so incredibly touching. Wow ... damn dude. The only criticism i have is in your title. It should be "The Ballad of a Dove." but wow. Really, wow.

~Comment Swap

This is really well done. It really has the sense of loss and grief lingering through it all. It was touching, managing to play on my sympathies. I thought you played it really well, looping it back around, and hinting around to her death. It flowed together really well which is impressive since your lines are pretty short.

Comment Swap!

First of all, I am really sad to hear that your friend drowned. Secondly, I really liked your story! I didn't see any grammatical errors which, by the way, I love saying. :) I like how you didn't really know that Jessica died until she sees her mom. I also liked the short choppy lines. it really worked in your favor! It builds suspense but it doesn't necessarily draw attention away from the story itself.

This is good stuff! Keep up the good writing! :)