Pepper - Comments

really love the description in this story. the word choice is divine, and the personalization of the wind really got me. good job.

You have a great use of description and a really nice writing style. Overall great job!

Absolutely so excited to read the rest(: You use a lot of complex syntax, which I normally hate but you pull it off quite well. Can't wait for more!

The layout is really pretty and I like how despite the shortness of the summary I still get a very dark and foreboding feel to the story, which I hope is what you were going for, haha. :3

Your descriptions and vocabulary is just delicious, oh my god, I have fallen in love with the way you write. Your metaphors are just gorgeous and the way you write is just amazing. I love the static bit and the tingle of anticipation, I can almost feel it on my own skin.

Your use of the run-on sentence too was done wonderfully, and I seriously think its awesome when people can break down grammar and use it to their advantage, and you've done it perfectly with the window that despite it being just a window, you've out so much emotional depth and setting behind it that I can already get a feel for the character and her thought process by something so simple and usually overlooked.

I think you did an amazing job of delving into the mind of someone who does cut, and I'm not sure if this is personal or not but the emotions laced within the words are just so real and raw. And the control thing is so relatable that even somehow who doesn't can still empathize and feel those emotions.

Seriously just an amazing piece, I have absolutely fallen in love with it. <3

Wow very intense story.

First off, I would like to say that I can relate to this story. Anyway, the layout goes well with the story. The description made me want to read the story to see what it was about. It is a fantastic story. You have no spelling errors which is great. I am sure a lot of people could relate to this story if they read it, so I am going to recommend it. Otherwise, I have nothing else to say but Great job! :)