Not bad, not my type of story but it is well written. I did find this sentence a bit awkward though, " I bet she was the type of girl with lots of good friends and that could take silly pictures and not look ugly and had a boyfriend and never got teased and even had guys waiting in line to go out with her." Maybe adding some comas, or phrasing it different would make it sound better. It sounds like a run on sentence. Other then that it seems like a good story, keep up the good work!
March 5th, 2013 at 07:53pm
