The Treeline. - Comments

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You write in a descriptive manner which suits the whole atmosphere of this story (I hope you get what I'm trying to say). I feel the protagonist is full of wonder, but at the same time teetering with rebellion. I was curious as to what will happen next. I also liked how you referenced the characters from Alice in Wonderland and incorporated it to your story subtly. But what I really liked was how the ending related to the beginning. The ending was good for me. :)

Though, there were a couple of mistakes (no major ones), such as properly tagging with dialogue.
For example:
"I saw them further down there."
"Keep quiet," the voice breathed...

And little typos such as:
'I mush preferred' - I think you meant the word 'much'.
and 'lose' not 'loose'.

Anyway, sorry if I am too particular, I hope I don't come across as demanding, but these are just little things you can easily fix. I enjoyed this short story, keep it up! :)

First off, the descriptive language is quite good in this story. It has just the right amount for the reader to get an idea of what things look like, while leaving them with the chance to use their imaginations.

There were a few mistakes in this, but nothing dramatic.

The first chapter shows what the protagonist is like very well, so we get a good idea of her personality.

Good story.

Comment swap sent me, and I'm very glad it did.

The summary had me right away because I love stories set in the past, and when it said inspired by Alice in Wonderland I had to read it because I LOVE new takes on old fairy tales. Again, very glad I got sent here.

Very descriptive and well written, with only a few left out words and spelling mistakes. Which didn't bother me because I do it all the time if I'm in a hurry to post and don't really proof read as carefully as I should.

A nicely done first chapter, it makes the reader want to go on. I want to know what happened to Alice, and how the man in the forest is related to the story. I do hope Wonderland is involved somehow. A lot is left unexplained but in a good way, so I'm not really confused but I don't know everything and need to go on.

Anyway, I'm subscribed and eager to see more of the story.