Hope and Her Gift - Comments

I really like your idea. It's very unique and unheard of. It's original :D
The thing is that i think you could work on description. You have great dialogue, but it's like reading a telephone conversation between people. Adding description adds more to the mind which attracts the reader.
Also, I think you progress a little quickly. It's like going from level 1 on a game, all the way to level 4.
All you need to do is add some detail and background and do some editing, and this story is on its way to some serious publishing. :D

Format:

I thought the chapters were a little short, which isn't necessarily a bad thing. I just thought that there were a few of them that didn't have much content.

Style:

I felt like there was a little bit of overuse of dialogue. I would have liked to see a lot more description so readers can get a feel of what characters look like, how the scene looks, and the action that is taking place. The story was really dialogue centered, so that's something you might want to switch up a bit. I had a bit of trouble figuring out what was going on because it felt like everything was just mashed together in the dialogue.

Characters:

The characters are interesting enough, but I don't really know much about them. After I get done reading, I like to have a feel for the characters and their emotions, personality, interests, beliefs, values, etc, but I didn't get much character information out of the first few chapters. I'd like to see you develop them more throughout the story.

The chapter I liked the most was chapter four because it gave more insight into William and his views. I'd like to see more chapters like that one in the future!

This is nice (: & I do agree with the previous comments regarding this though I'd like to suggest to not write (working title) as the title since it sort of lessens its appeal, if you know what I mean (:

But other than that; a few more description can't hurt and I think the story's pretty good (:

You've got a good writing skill to develop here :) I agree with Fandango, A little background in the beginning wouldn't hurt. And towards the end with her brother a little more description would put in more detail. There isn't much else I can say other than you've got a good idea going here. Keep working with it ;)

This is sweet. Needs a bit of polishing, but it can be a great idea. The development happened a bit abruptly, though. I'd like to see it slowed down. Maybe explain Hope in a preface? Or have a paragraph at the beginning?

Other than that, I like it :) Keep writing!

Not bad. Sounds like a work in progress though. Needs a bit more detail then talking. xD

Wow, this is good! I'm excited to read more! Just a couple of grammar mistakes but other than that I think this is great! ^_^