Pandora - Comments

This was a really cool concept, I never really thought about relationships like this before so thanks :)

Your descriptions were really good, although one thing I'd say is try to connect them more so they flow better in the readers mind e.g. you go from 'a book on a shelf' to 'a tunnel with no end' to 'a roller coaster with infinite loops'. They're all perfect analogies, but the don't quite relate to each other the same way as going from 'summer and winter and autumn and fall' to 'fire and ice' to 'a fresh breeze' does. I just found that the latter flowed better in my mind.

Apart from that, this was really great, the theme was kept up, always new descriptions of the same theme. I loved the character you gave to the narrator and it was developed well as as you read on, you get to see more of her desperation to remain unsolved. Well structured, well written, well done!! :)

This is ethereal and amazing and simply beautiful, if this was a dude, i'd draf him to bed. srsly, i know that my comment is unflattering, but i adore how everything sounded together. you know how when you read, there's this voice? Yeah well, reading this sounds like music. I'll support this if it becomes a chaptered fic, but for now, i'll reread these lines again and again

"i want to be summer and winter and autumn and fall. and the fresh breeze through your hair." (Though it's not exactly verbatim.)

I adore this. enough said.

For your snickers!

Wow this layout is just lovely, and the one line sumamry is intriguing. I'm looking forward to reading on now :D

Okay this is wonderful. Absolutely brilliant. I totally understand what she's saying because I feel the same way, and I guess a lot of teenage girls must to. The opening paragraph is short and sweet and definitely draws the reader in. I love the way you write, the personality of the character definitely comes through even though we know basically nothing about her and it flows really well.

I really love the book analogy. But I don't want this book to end. I think it's very poetic in a simple yet beautiful kind of way. I love how she contradicts herself as well. I want you to solve me, but I never want to be solved. I'm not sure if I'm conveying how good I think this is. I hope so.

So much amazing imagery! I can't pick an example, I love it all. It really makes this piece, and the majority of it is original and refreshing.

And of course the last paragraph finishes it off beautifully. Really really well done on this. I really love it. You are extremely talented c:

First, I think the layout is just adorable. I'm still not used to the new Mibba set up, but the layout is good!

The writing was amazing. I felt I could relate to the idea, and so I loved the way you wrote it all out. It's simple, but it gives you a clear picture.

I think this would be an amazing prologue to a chaptered romance or something. It's great! Keep up the good work :3

I love this so much. Your use of words is almost poetic and I simply adore the 3rd paragraph. Your layout is really pretty and fits the story perfectly I can't really fault it if I'm being honest- keep up the good work and happy halloween

Just stumbled on this and dude I'm in freaking in love with it you're super talented keep doing what you're doing :)

I love this so much.

Very vivid, and very pretty. <3
Your use of language is gorgeous.

Oh my gosh, hi. I skimmed through this the other day, but I didn't get a chance to read it fully. I'm so glad I did now, though, it's so gorgeous. The layout is amazing and your writing is flawless and I really liked your sentence structure. It was like someone was talking and almost trying to find the right words to say at some points, and I loved that. It seemed more real.

Your descriptions are incredible as well, I don't know how you managed to get so many amazing descriptions into the same short story.

The last paragraph was my absolute favourite though, it was very blunt and to the point but it was incredibly true as well.

Ah, so lovely. Amazing job <3

Beautiful writing, your descriptions are mind blowing doll :)