I'm not sure if this has been abandoned or not, but I have a few suggestions. Firstly, the colours of the background and the text make it a little hard to read, so I'd suggest making one of them lighter or darker; secondly, instead of links to pictures of things, try describing them, some people don't enjoy links in stories and I've known some people to be completely put off a story by it; on the other hand, you seem to be putting too much description into insignificant details, which can make the flow of the story seem slightly stilted. I do love the idea for this though, and I love what you have so far, I'd really like to see where you go with this!