All for Her - Comments

I sincerely hope you received an A+ on that final. I would have given you it if I was your teacher.

I recommended this a couple weeks back, but I just came back and read it again and WOW--I'm still amazed. I caught all the little intricacies, the little clues, that you put in the story that foreshadowed the ending. What really gets me is that you managed this in only a little over 1,000 words.

I'm kind of, sort of (okay I totally am) a huge crime aficionado. I read books, watch tv shows and movies (fictional and true crime) ... it just intrigues me so much, all of it. What intrigues me the most, however, is the mental aspect, the psychology of it all. I could honestly go on and on about why Rachel did what she did, but to sum it up: it makes sense. A lot of writers on here that write crime, their stories just don't make sense. Yours did.

Just... bravo. Honestly. I am amazed.

Ooooh, this was so eerie, I loved it! Your descriptions were really good, and I loved that in the beginning of the story, you get the impression that Rachel is I guess, a normal girl who's interested in the crimes and perhaps wants to solve them, which is the vibe I got from her. I didn't think anything weird of Charlotte in the beginning, but when you read back on the story, you can see that it makes sense to why the parents didn't say anything. I loved the ending though, I kind of stopped breathing for a second and went, 'Wait...what?' The ending was unexpected and chilling and was a great way to tie up the story!

I really like the summary. It gives the reader an idea of what the one-shot is about, which is what a summary should, but it also let me with questions that I believe will be answered if I actually read the one-shot.

Oh. My. Goodness. This was absolutely chilling. I don't even know what I was expecting to happen when I began reading this one-shot, but I can assure you that it is not what I expected. Just the fact that she was building a new body was just... horrible, kinda scary, and just crazy. I think the very last paragraph was the most spine-tingling part of the whole one-shot. Wonderful job!

:O ....... perfect. twisted.....strange..unique..... <3

Really cool story, haha. I liked reading it a lot, as everything flowed nicely and the plot.
"... Tears crawling from their eyes." I liked the use of 'crawling' here, probably because I've never seen it used to describe crying and it sounded really nice.
Melissa Robinson... I know someone with that name, haha.

This was a really nicely written story.

The ending of this short story was so creepy. I think I kind of saw it coming, only because I have a twisted mind like that, but I still really liked it! I thought it was really great how everything tied together at the end. Just the fact that Charolette was making her do all of these terrible things and those were probably all of the things that had been done to Charolette when she died. I just really liked how everything in this story came for circle for just an absolutely perfect ending. I really couldn’t see this story ending any other way!