All of the Embers Fell - Comments

I am confused with theme bit. looks like poem. but nice!

at first i thought oh hek another muso fan... but the story caught me im amazed at how your character is caught in a time space continuum surrounded by war and explosion
the clock has me captivated please do continue on in your particularly suspended story id love to read more

I love how this story is written, it's great. I love your plot. I've never heard the song but this is super unique. You did a great job with the dialogue and the plot was set up nicely. I love your layout! Sometimes I get these stories that have horrible layouts that I can't read. But this one was well put together. It was clear, the words were big enough, but not too big either. And I loved it. Good job with this!

This is a great story. I absolutely love how it's written, I love the meaning to it. The concept is completely unique and absolutely... oh, how to explain. Your story is absolutely amazing. A favorite for sure.

Your interpretation of the song is really interesting! This is a great concept for a story!

This story is beautiful! And to think that you got such a unique concept from the song too, it's brilliant! And the way you incorporate the lyrics into your storyline makes them fit so perfectly that you wouldn't think twice about where they came from. The flow is lovely also, I'm really looking forward to reading more of this story :)

This story is so interesting in the fact that it's from a MCR song. I love the way you were able to interperet the song lyrics into the story and make them sound so realistic. You made the story beautifully so far. Can't wait to see where it goes.

Ahh, this gave me chills! I adore how you interpreted that song, I've only listened to it a few times but this makes me want to keep it on repeat forever. I also like how much the layout contrasts with the story. The story is dark and kind of tragic and the layout is all bright and happy.

I loved your use of the clock. It helped imagine that really, these two chapters are spread of two minutes or whatever, and it really put everything into perspective. It's crazy how much can happen in such a short amount of time.

Your writing is lovely, the descriptions were amazing, and I loved the Tinkerbell reference. That was very clever.

Lovely story!

heh...this is...fascinating...
I'm from comment swap, by the way n_n

Anyhow, this is very...very good, actually, one of the rare gems I get from Comment Swap (I've gotten one or two, actually). It's very descriptive, and it makes you wonder exactly what is going on in the setting.

Honestly, I have no idea, and would rather like to know...

I'm pretty neutral on MCR but, I find that direct song-fics (ya know, the ones that have the words like, right smack-dab in your face and really push the fact that "Yes, I did base this on a song!") to be very annoying; so, when I see ones that are just based off of the story of the song, and don't shove that in your face, I greatly appreciate it.

That said, this could very well pass off as an original story...well, technically, it is but, technically not, since it's a Song Fic...hm...either way, really.

But, overall, I really enjoyed it, and I hope that it continues to be as good as it's been *nods*
good luck n_n~*

This is a really good story. I love My Chemical Romance and was so happy when I got this on Comment Swap. This is very well written, I love your writing, it's very interesting. And I love stories that are inspired by songs, so good! really interesting plot. Update soon please? haha love it :)

This is probably the best story I've gotten from comment swap. It's really, really good. I liked that whole "tick tock" thing going on in the first chapter, and it's super intriguing. Awesomeness and swagtasticness all around. Really good job :D

So I was also sent to All of Embers Fell because of comment swap but I'm really glad I was sent to this!! The excerpt from the poem in the last chapter was beautiful! Not to mention I'm a huge My Chemical Romance fan so I'm really excited to see where this one is going. I know you said you're a bit slow with updates but I will definitely be subscribing because I'm really excited where you take this!

I got this for comment swap but would honestly say this is the best story I've ever read on here. Really. I love the way it's written, how you include some philosophy/multi-verse theory, with action and with language that's so beautiful it's almost poetry. This is exactly the reason I do comment swap - to find hidden gems like this I wouldn't otherwise see. Beautiful. I've subscribed :) I usually try and post some constructive criticism but there is nothing whatsoever I would change :)

Oh wow. I'm here because of comment swap and just... Wow. This is definitely not what I was expecting. That's not a bad thing either! I have no idea what I was expecting. This is intense and attention grabbbing. This is very well written. Very few can actually grab a reader's attentioin the way you did (at least from what I've read). Keep up the great writing!

Wow, stumbled cross this purely by chance and I am so glad I clicked on it. The song you've used for inspiration is one of my personal favourites, and I think you've done a great job of choosing an original way of interpreting it. Your writing style is just amazing, and the descriptions are beautiful, in an end-of-the-world sort of way. Like Winter Storm, I was getting chills reading this.

The second chapter metaphor using Tinkerbell is really quite clever. You've taken something that most people associate with a cute childhood movie, and completely destroyed that. I love how you continue it on throughout.

You've got a fabulous writing style, and this story is incredibly intriguing. Keep up the good work!

@ Greegon
I am working out a further plot right now. It wouldn't be a long story, but I'm hoping I can get other chapters out.

@ arye.tyler
More chapters would be awesome. There's mystery involved in your story that is really interesting, and it definitely has potential for an expanded plot. :)

@ Greegon
Thanks for the read and the criticism! I'll definitely take it all into consideration, and there might be further chapters of this. Not sure about that at the moment, though.

Wow. Very powerful. That last paragraph gave me chills. I love the tone of this story, because it kept drawing me in and making me wonder what was happening in this one moment you've depicted. I find it cool that you created suspense for the reader to try and figure out, even though the story only takes place at one single frozen moment in time.

Plus that "fiery flowers" metaphor was brilliant. It was beautiful, yet dark. Throughout the story I kept imagining this black and white world with fires exploding in the sky. This story creates a great vision.

That said, there are some things that I think could help the story if they were modified.

The reality X and reality Y description is a good one. There's a line in one of the ending paragraphs which refers to it again, but one line isn't nearly enough. I would use that description and come back to it in the story just a bit more. It's a great thought for the narrator to be contemplating that I think should be used to its fullest.

There's also a part that broke the tone of the story. The paragraphs where the character said they were rambling, telling the reader about how they're not into scientific things, and then saying "anyway" before continuing the tone, takes the reader out of the great descriptive writing you have here.

These are just little things though. I love the image that this story paints, and the way that it's written is really chilling, yet beautiful and clever at the same time.