October 1st, 2012 at 07:14am
Bah, so many emotions.
First of all, Therapy is one of my favourite All Time Low songs, so I was excited to see a story based off of that. I think it's really interesting how you wrote this in the best friend's perspective, it was definitely an interesting way of looking at a suicide.
It felt a little rushed to me, though. I know you said you threw it together at the last minute. I think you could have gone into more detail about their friendship and added more emotion so that we could feel what your character is feeling. You had nice emotion at the end, but the beginning didn't feel as emotional to me.
The last paragraph and sentence though, those were awesome. It felt like you really hit your stride there, aha.
Overall though, good job!
Thank you so much for your feedback!
I just wanted to mention that I know it seemed rushed and like there wasn't much emotion in the beginning. It was meant to be that way. I wanted the end to be like a "bam, in your face!" type thing. I guess I accomplished that well. Haha. But seriously, thanks for your feedback.
I only wrote this story for an assignment in one of my classes, but I think I'm going to write a sequal to it that goes much moer into depth about the characers and their friend friendship.