Halloween Mystery - Comments

Oh, sorry I thought I put it as 1994,I'll go back and fix that right now :)

@ Mrs. Bagans

I think the story is great, but when you say 90's for when the newspaper clippings are the date on the newspaper is always 1984. That's the 80's, early 80's at that. The 90's run from 1990 - 1999, if you want to get technical the early 2000's as well cause if you watch a movie made in the early 2000's, it looks just like a 90's movie lol, but anyways that just confused me a bit.

Well, its really her parents decision on when her curfew is and her age is in the characters', I'll go through and add in the second chapter how old she is though :)

this is a good story and reminded me of some of my first stories I posted online when I was your age (wow, Now I feel old.) I like this, but I recommend to space out paragraphs, it's just easier to read, other than that this is a truly good story :)

I'm a little confused as to how old Jade is. Her boyfriend is in college and her curfew is 3am. Which is odd because, where I live, minors can't be out past 12am as a city ordinance, but you say she lives with her parents.

I like the flow that you have, but it's interrupted by some of the grammar and spelling errors that are scattered through out the first chapter.

Thomas seems stiff, he just speaks really formally.

I kind of feel like the first chapter lays out the character and just spells out what she's about.

Going along with Clara, I think you should read this out loud and see if it helps.

I haven't read past the first chapter, but it looks like you have a good direction. Once the grammar issues and spelling mistakes are fixed I think this will be positively amazing. Good luck.

@ lucid;

Aww, thank you! :3 And do you think the third chapter camem out fine?

This is a hell of a lot better than what I was writing at age 13. Shit, it's better than what I'm writing now, and I'm 18. Just a few spelling errors, nothing major. Can't wait to read more! c: I'm hooked. <3

Sh*t got crazy. Can't wait to read more

You remind me so much of myself when I started posting stories at 13 years old. Because you are 13 there are small tiny mistakes, I'd suggest to separate the dialogue from paragraphs. You only made that mistake twice. My advice would be reading you work out loud it also helps a lot finding if things sound right. If it doesn't sound right to you than it won't to the reader.

I really thought this story was creative and it's always fun to work on ghost and haunted houses. More reasons why I love Halloween so much.

Hope this story works out for you.

❤.....

@ ToTheMoon
Lol, okay and I should be sble to atleast start on chapter thrre tonight, possibly finish :)

Really liked chapter twooo :3 moreee soon ;D

This seems interesting.
I only spotted a few errors with spelling other than that this was great :D
More soon

@ Zaffhi
Okay, thanks and that's cool! :)

@ l-Silent-l
I'll try, but I'm trying to kind of write a Halloween story myself. =)

@ Zaffhi
Thanks, and aslo thanks for the rec. :) And if you wouldn't mind could yu please spread the word about my story? :)

I also agree with Kaitlyn! Your writing style is phenomenal! Keep it up! =)

@ kaitlyn5056
Wow, thanks :) And updates will come probably every one or two nights, the chaoters should end up adding with the days in October :)

I agree w/ kaitlyn

Wow, I just now finished the first chapter, and it's amazing, i love Jade's personality, and the cute relationship she shares with Thomas. Wow, for a thirteen year old, you are an AMAZING writer! Probably better than me. this was great, update soon :)