Cold Coffee - Comments

That was gorgeous! So well written, so poetic and full of wonderful imagery. I want to sy thank you or that beauty! Don't change a think, it was a wonderful piece on it's own and worthy of being printed.

Great job, wow, I can't say much more, just you go girl!

That was beautiful. I seriously can't stop crying. You wrote this just so perfect; everything flowed and seemed almost lyrical at some parts.

I love the little quirks you gave Caleb and Via. It added to the story and made it feel much more longer than 4,000 words.

In all honesty, I don't see anything wrong with this. The layout is beautiful, no grammatical errors, and the writing is perfect.
Great job!

I'm not gonna lie. I cried. I cried a lot. lol
This was amazing and sad and beautiful. I was hanging on every word. I figured out what she was doing at the bridge by the hint you gave but then everything started turning out so wonderfully. Then she made her game and I kept thinking, "No, no please don't." I was really sad that she killed herself but the ending was really really good. You didn't just leave it at that, which I appreciate.

Okay, so I don't usually read that much anymore, but this story seriously is amazing! I have been doing comment swap and it brought me here, and I am glad it did!

I feel like this isn't overly rushed but that it isn't too slow either, I wasn't looking for grammar, but I didn't notice anything while reading so I'm assuming that's good. (Usually I notice) This pulled me in from the moment I started to read it, and I couldn't stop reading until it was finished. I recommended it! You ended it perfectly as well!

@ A Dream So Sweet
btw, thanks for pointing that about the tense (since I just quickly copied & pasted it from a site where I originally posted it) & during that time, I'm in the midst of changing my writing style (:

& I'm really glad you liked it! Thanks for the rec. I really appreciate it

Okay, first off, I love you because I have finally found somehow who writes lengthy chapters as well! With long chapters, you're giving a lot to your reader, which makes me want to read more ^-^ -found out after that this is a short story, but still very good!-

Also, in the beginning, it appears you're using past tense, then you switch to present; it's a bit confusing, but that doesn't really take away from the story. You have good description, and a wonderful way of putting words together.

So, very few books I read have the ability to make me cry, and usually, its because I've read about the character and come to love them after at least two books then they die! At the end of your story, you did make me cry. It's a very good story and I'm definitely recommending it!

This flowed unbelievably well (which I know is such an overused line, but it is so true in this case). There were no 'oh, wait, I need to reread that sentence' moments, and I read through the entire story in a single sitting.

That said, I can't believe how much this moved me. The ending was unexpected and unsettling, and I felt so much for Caleb. The moment he took that sip of cold coffee was when you really captured the emotion this story is trying to convey.

This was so damn good (most pointless adjective ever) and poignant and I just adored it.