November 2nd, 2012 at 02:19am
Okay, so I finally got round to commenting on the entries (winners to be announced later today).
I like the idea, it's very original and I honestly think it's quite clever. You make a few grammatical/spelling errors, and some formatting errors too (the final paragraph is a slight jumble of dialogue and narrative and this made it a bit difficult to read). However with a little editing and some love it could be improved.
I'd really advise you to use a custom layout! Anything is better than the Mibba default so don't be afraid to have a go with the layout editor! Also, a title and description which have more relevance to the story would just improve the reader's first impression of the story.
Having said all that, I thought it was a really great effort. Thanks for entering and remember to check the contest thread later for the winners!
Claire xxx
Thanks!