Oh, Dakota - Comments

You are very welcome. I have become somewhat fascinated, for lack of a better term, with how you're writing this. I found this chapter to be, once again for lack of a better word, fascinating. Please continue to write. I am somewhat patiently waiting for an update.

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To start off, the line 'I shot him a thankful glance, I didn't want to show my surprise' could use a semi-colon or a period (I think it's better if it was a period) instead of a colon since it's two different sentences.

As for the line '“Hello.” was her simple response' could be changed into 'A simple 'hello' was her response' or '"Hello," she responded simply' or if you don't want to change the line, you could change the period into a comma though I'm not really sure that I'm right. Gosh, never mind that, I think I may be mistaken.

I may be wrong but I believe that you forgot some commas before and after some dialogues.

The line 'Eleanor chuckled quietly, if I hadn't been sitting next to her I wouldn't have heard it' should have the conjunction 'and' instead of the comma. It would look and sound better.

Also, the last line should not have those commas. I believe that those are compound-complex sentences so you shouldn't use any commas. The last line has a dependent clause and 2 independent clauses. Furthermore, you used two conjunctions.

I may be mistaken about my corrections though. Anyways, this is a really good story. I don't read a lot of One Direction fanfics but I really enjoyed this one. Oh, Dakota is now in my list of top One Direction fanfics. My only suggestions are to develop your character more, plot more, and proofread it more. Do you have a beta? You could ask someone to help you with your story since this has a lot of potential. I hope that I would get to read more of this.

I Love it!!!!

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i love Rocket they're one of my favs! so excited for this story:)

for a first chapter it's acuatally really good. haha i am excited to meet dakota :)