A Lover's Lie - Comments

Hey I'm here because of comment swap. I like the story and at first I didn't want to read it because it looked romantic but I actually really liked it. I liked the song lyrics in it and how it wasn't a sexual thing. Although I feel like you have some personally experience... Just saying. I liked it though! Great job!

I really liked the story and it was really well written. The only thing is that maybe you could change the title, as I think it's a bit too long. I liked that the story was mostly her thoughts as she listened to the song and that you actually put the lyrics in this. The layout really fits the story and the summery draws you in. All in all there really isn't anything bad to say about this piece. Wonderful job!

Candy Bowl:

First off I have to say I'm so sorry for not getting to this story sooner! I've been swamped with so many things!

I happened to enjoy this though. It was very detailed, I got a semblance of your character, got in her skin and felt her feelings.

It was very good I must say. Again I am so sorry I took so long!

Enjoy your candy! I'm going to read and comment on your other story you requested. :)

@ This.Useless.Heart.
Thanks so much for your comment! To be honest, I absolutely hate this title and I kick myself for the fact I cannot for the life of me come up with a better one! Got any ideas?? haha
Thanks for telling me about the grammer mistake I hand and also for your compliment on my originality. I've never been a cheater, nor have I ever been in the situation where I had been cheated on so I hope that I did this character justice (even though she doesn't deserve it). Thanks again :)

First impression, before reading, was that I honestly don't like the title. Sorry. It's not that I am against long titles; I guess it's just I'm not feeling that one.
...thinks I could or would be faithfully to him... - I believe "faithfully" needs to be faithful.
“What?! Where the hell did that come from?” I asked, astonished. “Baby, I would never do that to you. I love you so much,” I say. I make sure that I make him believe it.- All I could think was, "Oh my God, what a bitch!" at this part!
I think the lyrics are an interesting touch; they almost serve as headers, dividing the story into small segments. However, I could also have done without them and probably have read the story quicker.
I find this interesting for a lot of reasons. One, it explores female infidelity from the perspective of not just a female, but an unsympathetic one. Secondly, the very fact that the narrator is so unsympathetic and is never ever claimed to be even remotely in the right is very interesting and unlike anything I can ever recall reading on this site. Infidelity from the perspective of the cheater like this is rather rare. I applaud you for doing something so original and different.
Kudos!

For yours mars bars,

I love this. I can semi-relate to the character with her cheating; I used to not exactly be faithful. This is very well written and the lyrics are a nice touch.

For your Snickers! :)

I like the summary. I think it's a pretty good section of the story you picked, and it's the right length. It's good for drawing the reader in.

The opening to it doesn't really do much for drawing me up but you've got really nice descriptions there. Instantly, I don;t like this woman. She's seeing someone else behind her husband's back? Lovely. It's hard to make a story with an unlikeable main character likeable but you seem to be doing this so far.

My husband thinks that I went here for work, but what does he know. should that be what does he know?

Wow, I really don't like her. Overall this is really well written, even if I don't like the narrator :'). Well done!

Oh I loved this so so much! How it was written and the plot <3

@ makemescreama7x
Thank you very much. This was my first time trying to write something a little more... seductive... I guess the correct word to use, so I was a bit nervous with it. Thanks so much for the comment :)

I liked this. Still something I would read by myself but now after I've read it, it was good.

@ Heatherette3
Thank you very much! <3 I hope I do well :)

Ahhh I love it. This is the 2nd song-based story I've read & I think this is perfect. Good luck with the contest :)

Very good, and sexy ;). Any who. Overall this is very well written and I love it.

hottt dammnnn that was sexyyy!!! and Rumor Has It is the PERFECT song for this one shot. The way you put the line in right after the end sentence was incredible.

But rumor has it he's the one I'm leaving you for and then she and Jonathan walk to the bed together. Amazing imagery!

I hope you do well in your contest! When you get the results in, please tell me how you did! :)