Before Neverland - Comments

I have to say first of all that you have a lovely style of writing, your word choice is top notch and you know your way around a grammar book for sure which I very much appreciate. I do have to say the bit at the beginning about the mum being fed to the croc was a touch confusing because I couldn't tell if there were two or three relatives on board and if the lady that died was in actuality the girl's mum or not. Other than that I am hooked...no pun intended!

@ MrBlackwaterPark
Thank you very much, constructive criticism is always welcome :D

I presumed this to be something else, but the title laid self-explanatory. This is great, and I always did love watching Peter Pan as a young kid, when I could do anything basically, and get away with it :)

This is a good story, just make sure that the plot is clear to the readers, as I was getting lost in the sentences. Don't be so quick to introduce a character either, as you can slowly hint at their features, and leave us all guessing, like the woman.

Just some constructive criticism, but I love this, and am subscribing :)

Oooh, I like this, I really, really do. Peter Pan is one of the only things left from childhood that I still enjoy, and I believe you're doing Hook justice. I presume it's still Hook.

Spelling and grammar all looks good, the only thing is how you change scenes - it's a little hard to tell every now and then. Oh, and I was highly confused by the death of the... mother? I thought it was the kid who was fed to croc and then I just kept getting confused, until the end when the Captain explained it all.

Other than that, it's pretty good. I'll be subscribing, because I want to learn more about this woman.

Great job!

I like this; then again, I quite enjoy Peter Pan and all things relevant, so when I saw this I had to read it. I quite enjoy what you have so far, and can not wait until you've updated once more(:

@Maddi; - Fantastic, thank you. Yes, those were page breaks, I just put them there for lack of a better option. You are definately right, so I fixed them as best as I could :) Thanks for the feed back, much appreciated!

One thing I noticed was the small little asterisks. It took me a minute to realize that they were page breaks, if that's even what they were, so I think there may have been a better way to switch between scenes. It just made the flow a little more choppy. Other than that, I like the story. It was fun to try to figure out who the characters were in regards to Peter Pan, and I quite enjoyed reading this story!

One thing I noticed was the small little asterisks. It took me a minute to realize that they were page breaks, if that's even what they were, so I think there may have been a better way to switch between scenes. It just made the flow a little more choppy. Other than that, I like the story. It was fun to try to figure out who the characters were in regards to Peter Pan, and I quite enjoyed reading this story!

@misery's company. - Awesome thanks! I was pretty much just trying out the whole Comment Swap thing, so... Glad you like it though! :)

Here from Comment Swap~

Honestly, there's not much I can say about this story as you haven't gotten too far into it yet, other than you've got a great style of writing. Everything flows beautifully, and you've got a really nice way of putting things. Keep up the great work! Best of luck. xx

I like it so far. It's tough being a Captain.