Monster - Comments

This was really heartbreaking to read. There's not much I can say, since previous comments have already said it all! But, I have to say, that I'm definitely a fan of your writing now! (:

Now, I found this really interesting for a few reasons. Firstly, the writing style was different. The way you wrote this was perfect and I loved every second of it, but let's move on from that little thing and onto bigger reasons.

Mostly, I loved that this made me think. For the most part I believed that the boy was demonically possessed - maybe because I'm fascinated by such things and have been watching a lot of the movies recently - but as I got to the end, I had to wonder if he wasn't just somebody who was losing his mind. This is a style that I've tried to write in before and failed at miserably, so I commend you for your fantastic control over it. =)

My mind just went blank and I forgot what else I wanted to say, but I truly did love this and hope that it gets read by more people. =)

Tomb It May Concern

Oh my goodness. That's all I can say - wow. This story was amazing to read. To start off, your imagery is beautiful. It's simple, but yet, it's enough to paint a very clear picture in my mind of what's going on.
Like Sunny said, I did notice some odd sentences. Handfuls of his dark, too dark to be brown too light to be black hair came out in his hands. I felt like this was an unnecessary sentence, because you could have just said "Handfuls of his dark hair" and be done with it. Also, I noticed a few run-on sentences which made the story a little bumpy. Otherwise, it was smoothly written and I noticed almost zero grammatical errors.

From the layout alone, I was presented with a dark and dreary mood from the beginning. It escalated as the story continued on, and I love how you portrayed the character. The descriptions got me the most, though - it was just wonderful.
Great job, and good luck!

Tomb It May Concern:

I had to read this twice, which is actually a compliment. You had enough imagery and enough holding back that I had to read it more than once to actually understand the ideas and concepts that were going on. I really like when an author can give enough and hold enough back to allow the reader to come to their own conclusions and yet still have the thought on their mind for days, wondering what exactly happened. More than one scenario popped up.

You did have a bit of awkward sentencing, which could be fixed with changing one sentence to two instead. I'd also really like it if some sentences flowed into the next more smoothly. There were a few grammatical errors in it, but nothing going over it wouldn't fix.

Your description was lovely and your sentences, being short and erratic, gave the story a feeling of suspense and adrenaline. I absolutely LOVE your layout. It fits the story and it looks amazing!

Overall, good work. I really enjoyed it

I have officially read most of your work now. And i must say your one of the few people who really make me strive to become better with my writing. Your writing and grammar skills are amazing. And everything i have read from you has held my attention to the fullest. -tips my hat off- Please keep writing beautiful pieces such as this one. :)