Tundra - Comments

I hit a BAD case of writer's block yesterday after updating my story...

Then I came here. I just love everything about this, and has granted me with more inspiration than you know. I love this.

Oh, I wanted to question about the use of the hyphens. Is it like a substitute comma? I've seen it in many of the books I read and have come to the conclusion that it's a prolonged break, maybe?

I'm in love with the summary alone. It reminds me of The Golden Compass in a way. I don't know if you don't think that's a good book/movie or not (some people hate it), but I loved it to pieces. It's intriguing. The sorcerers' institution, talk of mammoths and fjords. It's beautiful as hell.

Chapter I – Bleak – Part I

I like this. I like the images, and the feeling of ice and cold I'm getting from reading. My only worry is the number of overly descriptive words in this. It kind of overwhelms. It's still really pretty, but the intense descriptions are almost too much.

I like the phrase 'skeleton beaches'. But you use the word 'fortifications' and there is no simple beauty to it. It's a more complicated beauty that doesn't fit completely with what it should be.

I get what you're going for, the whole vintage speak, older words and older structures. I just worry that it might be too overwhelming, you know? The words you use are so wonderful and creative, but maybe less of them would preserve how special they are.

I smell books, too. I always smell them in bookstores or libraries before I get them, because if they don't smell wonderful I tend not to get them. It's a horrible habit, I know. I bought one book because I liked the smell of it (... it also had glossy pages), and it's shit.

Maybe I'm too obsessed with simplicity. This is an intriguing work.

Chapter I – Bleak – Part II

I really like the first paragraph. I like the description, I like the harshness.

The entire plot is so wonderfully creative. You're good with plots and creativity, and that'll give you a lot of fucking money if you make a series out of something like this.

You should watch your comma use, though. I see a few too many here.

I love the last part. ", but still, Eiron rowed." Lovely.

Chapter I – Bleak – Part III

Woah, okay. This chapter scared the shit out of me. I loathe the ocean. I cannot deal with deep water. I cannot deal with descriptions of water. I can barely deal with having a bath, my fear of water is that intense. When I wash my face, I get an intense chill down my spine and my stomach turns up in knots. It's freakish. But I read this. I did it. And it was lovely.

Chapter II – Gathering – Part I

I associate simplicity with vulnerability, and I like vulnerability in people and writing. Your narrator seems too hard, too old. Is he supposed to be old?

Your words are gorgeous, and yet it becomes too much at certain points in this. I have absolutely no way of saying these things without sounding absolutely insulting. I'm sorry, I don't mean it like that at all. I just think that, because of the plot, the writing should be toned down. You know? The plot itself is a lot to take in, because it's so unique and wonderful. I just feel like the narration should be calmer. Do I still sound like an asshole? I'm sorry. I'm trying to explain, but I'm bad at explaining.

I wish I could come up with plots like this. I wish I had the inspiration. You're so lucky. See I can come up with plots, but they never go anywhere. You actually write things, things with substance and bulk. It's a wonderful thing to have.

You should really be proud of this.

I thought this story would have more comments. :c
I can't read more because I'm going on to read your other stories, but hopefully I'll come back to it eventually.

The tundra reached out for something to prey on, but it only found me. I ached when I read that line.

So beautiful, yet so harsh.

I love your work, when the very first time I friended you on Mibba I knew your work was amazing. The way it was written, the way it sounded, all of it captured my attention. When I'm needing inspiration and have no where to go I usually skim through your works searching for something, anything, to pull from the context and use it in my own special way. Keep up your amazing writing skills.

I really like this, even though I just started reading. It looks awesome, and not to mentiont the layout! :D

@ Charity M. Lewis
Thanks heaps! I actually really love hearing things like that, and I'm sure my partner will be absolutely flattered by your comment (he does all the story boarding, and I do the writing). I don't think it's pathetic at all.

Is it pathetic to say whenever I have the urge to write but I can't, I go to your stories for inspiration? Cause if it is, I don't care. You are your partner are doing an excellent job on this. It's quite a fine piece of work, like always.

@ NathanWatt
Please feel free to point out any typos. I am using UK/Australian spelling on purpose but would be glad to know of any mistakes I've missed.

As I said before, I read the first chapter yesterday evening. Was too tired to comment, but I really enjoyed it. I just read second part of chapter 1, and still into it. Will be reading more tomorrow. Keep up the good work :) just a few typo's I noticed. But missing a key, or pressing one and not getting the letter still happens to us all lol. Looking forwards to reading more.

Woah. I aspire to be able to write like you, one day.

Your use of language is just asdfghjkl (ahem, flawless). I never get sick of your descriptions; they're never weighty or over-done. Just. They're beautiful.