Never Coming Home - Comments

The minute I noticed the title and the short description, I just had to read this. My Chemical Romance, right? I loved that video and came into this story with hopes that you'd recreated it, but you've went one up on that.

I'm a massive sucker for anything based on wars, so this is right up my alley and it also has one of my favourite pairings in it. I was expecting to read some heartbreaking story about how Ryan had actually died on a battlefield but, again, you surpassed my expectations. I don't often get to read stories about PTSD or the people it affects, so I really loved this.

Ryan really does seem so lost, it's really sad to read. I feel bad that his day consists of drinking coffee and watching the sun change position, it's heartbreaking to read about that. Ryan obviously went through a lot of trauma in the war that isn't going to be healed and without even mentioning that, you've managed to give off that impression and I think that's fabulous. And then when Brendon comes in and asks how his day was, I get the sense that he almost expected the answer that he got.

With Brendon, you've managed to create this wonderful three-dimensional character that I think even people who aren't aware of Panic! would be able to read about. You've got him all sweet and lovely and taking care of Ryan, but then you've got the other side where he does wish that Ryan had died in combat because it would have been better than seeing him in the state that he's in. In a way, I think there's a little selfishness there, because it must be hard on Brendon to see him like that and it must be difficult to know that's what you're coming home to, but in another way, it is quite a nice thing to wish, because I think it would have been easier on Ryan as well because he wouldn't have to deal with the almost constant threat of panic (ehehe I made a funny) hanging over his head. I'm not sure how I feel personally about it yet, but I think it might have been better for both if he didn't come home. Grief doesn't ever fully go away, but it would potentially have been easier to get over than to know the pain that Ryan is going through contantly and for that reason, I think I do agree with Brendon when he has those thoughts, as nasty and horrible as they seem.

All in all, I really enjoyed this. I've been reading a lot of sad stores and one-shots lately, and this one just shows that you can write about a war but not mention much about the war and still have it appeal to the action-oriented audience as well as the audience who prefer character-driven plot, which is a really great attribute for a story to have.

“You were the reason I came home.”
BUT YOU DIDN'T ALL THE WAY COME HOME. WAAH
My feelings are on the ground covered in blood

I wanna cry!

Why do you do this?! But I like it so... that's for me to reflect on later.

BUT AHH. I can't do that! Thanks for the emotional over flow. I think I needed it.

Aw Jesus. Oh God. I'm crying.

Then he wouldn’t have to deal with shitty, broken elevators or the noisy traffic that made Ryan jump and shake and close his eyes. I love images like this. My heart caught in my throat when I read that line.

“Then go get drunk and screw? Yeah, I remember,” Ryan said and Brendon laughed. Yeah.

I smiled so hard when Brendon took his hands and they just swayed. Such a beautiful scene. I just. Ngf.

I love the added plot point of Brendon being shot - he's the one that's physically broken. For Ryan, it's in his mind. I love that parallel.

I wish there was a happy ending. I wish. But then you wouldn't have made me cry so hard. This really got to me. You are such an amazing writer, I don't even have words.

So... I LOVE YOU SO MUCH. AND I LOVE THIS SO MUCH. AND I'M CRYING, I'M SORRY. I'M CRYING SO HARD BECAUSE OF YOU (FOR YOU).