A Boy and a Girl - Comments

Aww this story is cute but I don't really see a plot, it's kind of a long description. I'm excited to see where you're going with it though. Great detailed imagery and very well written. I like the end about them looking at the stars. Too adorable. I kinda wonder what your characters look like though

Aww this story is cute but I don't really see a plot, it's kind of a long description. I'm excited to see where you're going with it though. Great detailed imagery

I am kind of here because of comment swap, but I just did this because you read my story. So I figured I would read yours. This was a nice warm story, it was sweet yet short. Very nice, keep it up.

Comment swap brought me here! I think your use of description is nice, and it's enough that I can get an idea of your story even from just three paragraphs. I didn't really catch any mistakes or anything, but hey, typos happen. -shrug- However, I think you should work on showing instead of telling. Instead saying the boy was full of confidence, maybe note the way he stands: shoulders back, chest thrust forward, etc. You get me. Other than that, I think you've got a lovely, distinct writing style! Keep going!