Cath Trilogy: Hey Jane - Comments

@ mstaylor0509
Thanks I'm glad you liked it!

@ mstaylor0509
Thanks I'm glad you liked it!

Thank you for this great story. It was like I was looking at a movie with growing suspense. There were so many surprises. Comment swap brought me here and it brought me to a GREAT story.

Ahhh I loved the doctor who reference!
Whaaattt?! Holy shit. Wasn't expecting that!! Need mooooreee!

@ morshu101
*Nathan

@ world
Thank you so much. I am really glad you enjoyed it Also, I must say Castle is pretty awesome Nick Fillion has stolen my heart.

So Comment Swap brought me here and I didn't expect to get such a great story. I was really hooked, the whole way through, it's so well written and there's really no let up on the suspense. I love your characters, and when I began reading it immediately made me think of Castle and Beckett from the tv show Castle but the thought was quickly forgotten because your characters are so original and well developed.
I couldn't find any mistakes, and if there were any within the story they were probably very, very small. I'm very happy with this story and it's the first one from Comment Swap that I will subscribe and continue to enjoy/reread and try to critique whenever I can. It's very good, keep it up.

Omg! My feels are bursting out all over the place! Poor Danny and poor Ryan! I just wan't to hug him and look after him. His dad needs to die! Painfully! Can't wait to read more!

@ TheMommyDiaries
Thanks!

@ TheMommyDiaries
Thanks!

Comment swap~

I've only read the first two chapters, but wow. They have pulled me in. I love how you plan on making this is a trilogy. My only thing is all the characters you have in the slots, so many of them! You don't want to confuse readers. But, everything else is pretty good. I didn't see any mistakes, grammar or spelling. Good job!

@ patrick stump.
Thanks for the advice. It is much appreciated

I am from comment swap and I just have a few tips for you. Don't have so many characters in the character slot, only important main characters are needed in that slot. Having so many people there will make people confused and also could give away spoilers. Also, having names that people cannot pronounce properly in a story is always a little awkward because no one is exactly sure how to say it. Those are just my opinions.

@ CherryV
Thanks :)

Damn! I want to know what happens!! Lol

I'm here on Comment Swap. =)

This is certainly a unique and different piece. I haven't read anything like this before. At least not in my living memory. And this seems to have potential.
I think I like the chemistry between Jane and Rhys. It seems like a good partnership...but I've only read the first few chapters so what do I know? XD
But I do like action and suspense, and from what I read it seemed to be building up to it. Keep up the good work!!
I also like that spelling and grammar errors were kept to the minimum...I only saw one mistake and I think it was the third chapter:

offense not offence

Other than that, it was smooth sailing.

I do have a few constructive criticisms.
The layout; I do appreciate that it's simple and easy to read, but I think it could use a bit more. Like a nice banner to complement the story. There are people here that can actually help with making layouts or just banners if you need help there.
Another would be focus. I know I read the chapters in third person point of view, but there were a few focal points and that threw me off a bit. At first it was the story told from Jane's angle, and at the end of the chapter, it was Rhys. For me that disrupted the flow just a tiny bit. Playing with POV's are fine, but if you want to switch, I think it's better to have it in different chapters. Have Jane's angle in one chapter, then Rhys in the next and have the POV clarified at the top of the chapter...something like that. Just be careful with that; too many POV can actually be more confusing to the readers than providing insight.

Overall, I did enjoy the read. Thanks for sharing and happy writing!!

CS! I like your story a lot so far, it's very interesting and I love how you have a clear understanding of your characters and how by actually putting them under the character tab we can too. I agree with @Goldyfish. I like that your layout is simple because sometimes it's too confusing to pay attention to the chapters but maybe a little bit more would really hook the readers. Give it a picture that sums up the feeling of the story or something. I like the whole good against bad thing, and I think your writing is very convincing on the fact that you know what your writing about, so your sources seem to be doing you well :). You're a really great writer, I'm already loving the conversations between the characters and I'm glad that the chapters got longer as you posted them! Can't wait for an update!!

Sorry for commenting again, apparently I have to write 200 characters or more for the comment swap feature to work or something, I don’t know :/ Like I said I got given this story through the comment swap but I’m glad I took the time to read it, good plot line and good characters. This has gotten me intrigued! Can't wait for the next chapter! I loved the whole supernatural feel to it with the heaven and hell thing going on. Instantly reminded me of supernatural where Sam and Dean are supposed to go against each other to end the apocalypse (I don’t know if you’ve watched Supernatural, if not, you definitely should! I highly recommend it) I love stories on that topic. Can’t wait to find out what the link is between Jane and Catherine, and the whole nightmare thing she’s experiencing, also I love that there is chemistry between Jane and Rhys. Very well written, good layout. I didn’t even think to put a layout on mine, I suppose I should really haha! I’ve wanted to do a supernatural type story for so long but I don’t think I could touch those guys! Well done! Looking forward to the next update! :D

This has got me intrigued! Can't wait for the next chapter! I loved the whole supernatural feel to it with the heaven and hell thing going on. Update soon! :D

The layout is simple and attractive, but it could be a little more complex. Something that represents the story better. I'd suggest making the chapters a tad longer in the future, but they're okay at this length too. The story itself is highly interesting and am excited to keep on reading.