The Island At The South - Comments

@ ninjabones
throughout the comments downwards, I could really appreciate your comment... The story was really intended to be esoteric on the first chapter and begins to lighten up on the next ones... I will be uploading my next story... BTW Nice analysis on why the vocabulary was that complex...

hey i read the story and the comments, its an interesting esoteric read but i agree that alot of these word choices are inappropriate and confusing, or as is more common just simply do not mean what they are intended to mean. many stories are confusing and full of complex vocabulary and are good, but that is not necessarily what makes them good.

@ XBox Head LoveX
Some Narrations esp. the first paragraph are contained to be used in idiomatic language as I call it. The sentences may not throw up quite a literal meaning but analyze what is being thought in the story... Like Dilapidated daffodils complements with "The palace stood still in the midst of silence and gloom of the hills." It pictures out how tragic, how gloomy and how dilapidated the island was. I put too much deep words because it is what tragedies need; too deep, too uncommon and too lachrymal that neither any writers will notice for every word of my story compliments with one another. I love the way I writ and that is how I bring the darkness of my story... I just don't like to use those easy going words because they don't give that impact to my readers. It will be a plain romance thing which I use to avoid in my story. I appreciate your comment but I am afraid I cannot take the advice... Thank You...

Comment swap had brought me here. I agree with @E P Kent. I feel like I'm in AP English 12 class. It's very finely written, almost too good. The words you used make the story have an ominous feeling but, half the time I have no idea what is going on. Context clues help slightly, but most of the time, it was just like a dictionary threw up on the page. The first two paragraph seemed to be a mess, but I know they are not. "Dilapidated daffodils" and "The palace experienced this dilapidated history" Honestly, I have no idea what the heck was said.

Comment swap had brought me here. I agree with @E P Kent. I feel like I'm in AP English 12 class. It's very finely written, almost too good. The words you used make the story have an ominous feeling but, half the time I have no idea what is going on. Context clues help slightly, but most of the time, it was just like a dictionary threw up on the page. The first two paragraph seemed to be a mess, but I know they are not. "Dilapidated daffodils" and "The palace experienced this dilapidated history" Honestly, I have no idea what the heck was said.

@ NetsuroIchini
I was talking about your first chapter

@ E P Kent
Ummm... The prolouge if you're talking about, I made it that way... my aim is to the readers have no clue of what the story is all about... I did use a large vocabulary for the prologue... it is somewhat I consider the beauty of darkness... where you can never understand why... what you read then something from behind shocks you of what the next chapter goes... I offer you to read my first chapter so you'll have a clue of what I am talking about... thank you!

I came here to read your story; when i first read the title i was excited, and then when i saw the layout i was even more excited .. but i only had to read the first paragraph to have my heart broken .. As a writer, you need to find the line between a colorful vocabulary, and a vocabulary on full blown steroids. As i read this i feel like you might have been a bit of a thesaurus whore; granted you might just have a very broad range of words that you know, but writing like that detracts from the story. To be frank i had no sweet clue what you were talking about. Try and tone down the words because at the end of the day it doesnt matter if youre the best writer if you dont have a solid story. This comment is pretty brutal but a part of writing comes from practice. You have talent, you just need to refine your work a bit.

*comment swap*

Comment swap brought me here, and I have to say you put a lot of time and detail into the first chapter I see. I don't know why you have no feedback from others yet:( Haha but yes I did like this(: keep writing.