I'll Carry You Home Tonight - Comments

Jack is getting some action, YEAH!

i agree with the color abi, you do need to work on grammar. I think this is a great story so far, though :] I can't wait to see what else you have to write

Jack's in love.

I like this story but, you really need to work on your grammar and maybe adding more description. Either way, it seems like a great little plot you have going on!