Capture Every Moment - Comments

The idea behind this story is a good one, and it could be really good. I mean, it is good, just some minor things to fix, really. Your grammar and such, like there are a few run-on sentences and some words that should be in the past tense that aren't. Just silly things like that that could easily be fixed by re-reading and editing. I liked the piece, though, and felt for Luna at the end. Good job !

December Photo Contest

I think you have a great theme going on here. "Capturing every moment" is a wonderful moral for readers, and you exploit this in an interesting way. Your descriptions are good, so far, but you definitely need some work with your writing in general and making your sentences smooth. I have to admit that it was a little confusing. At the very end, it seemed like everything before it was happy and then boom, it ends with sadness and anger. That pretty much destroys the moral because the camera was given to the MC by her loved one, and the whole theme of it dissipated. Maybe you can find different ways to get your meaning across so readers leave with a more satisfied feeling, you know?
Good job, and good luck.

This plot is brilliant and seems like it could have a lot of potential. Be careful about run on sentences, though. Also, just a few spelling and grammar mistakes you might want to look at, such as "'I thought mother was going to have a heart attack”'. That sentence should have a comma before the quotation marks. Keep up the good work!