The Mortician's Daughter - Comments

I just read all of this in about two hours. I have never been so captivated in my life. You're writing style is exquisite, I would love to read more!

@ laxpolilla
Also, I guess here (or maybe just where I dance) our ballet classes aren't as strict as where you're from. I could have mentioned this and I was at fault here but we usually do a group stretch before we even go into the actual dance and so that's sort of what I meant when she was standing all alone. A lot of it was use of symbolism as well. Her tattered shoes are symbolic of her financial need. Her loneliness is symbolic of her outcast nature and so on. I've been dancing for over ten years so I already know everything you told me. I was just making a point of using slightly inaccurate facts. It IS a fictional story after all and not many of the people reading are reading for the dance accuracy. They're reading for Andy in the band I'm writing about. You always have to think about who your audience is. That makes you a better writer as well.

@ laxpolilla
Yes, I understand all that. The little details were meant to be fictional and not exactly correct. It just was to go along with the story line but thanks for the comment anyway

Hi. So I get this feeling that you probably take dance lessons. There's something in the way that you write about Carolyn's dancing that tells me it's something you care about too. I also get the feeling that you've never done pointe before.

This is just a bit of constructive criticism; itll make you a stronger writer and help your character seem more believable. First off, it is unlikely that in real life Carolyn would have tattered pointe shoes. They are athletic shoes, and they must be in pristine condition to work correctly. Old pointe shoes can be dangerous and cause permanent damage to the toes and ankles. In fact, a ballerina has many pairs of pointe shoes, some of which will be worn useless after only a single performance.

2. Her dance class is oddly idle. Dancers on pointe do not sit around and talk before class: they stretch. It's incredibly important so that they do not hurt themselves. On the same note, no ballet teacher worth her bun would allow black shoes in class. Uniform is usually very rigid in ballet.

On a (more) technical note: even a newer pointe shoe is likely to have a hole in the toe. When breaking in pointe shoes, the satin on the toe is usually removed for better traction on stage.

:O I would absolutely love a sequel. The plot was brilliant and just neeeeeeeeeeeddsss to go on.

<3 that was so beautiful... SEQUEL. hahaha

This made me cry. SEQUEL!!! D:

SEQUEL!!!!!!Please :D

Omg! Sequel please?!

YES A SEQUEL
i love your stories so much, you have no idea.

This story was amazing :D sequel please :D

I THINK WE WOULD ALL LIKE A SEQUEL PLEASE. THANK YOU AND AMEN.

SEQUEL! -.-

YES WE WANT A SEQUEL ._. DUH.

I thought she was really dead!!!!!!!!!!!How could you do that to me? :(

Update as soon as possible! Omg!

OKAY SERIOUSLY LIKE OH MY GOD YOU NEED TO UPDATE ASAP BC I NEED MORE
& i hope you're okay, haha.

THAT WAS AMAZING OMG YAY SHE'S ALIVE EVERYTHING IS ALRIGHT. YAYYYY :D

YES SHES FINALLY ALIVE YAY DON'T WORRY ANDY, SHE'S ALIVE

Holy hit! I read the whole thing and I love it! And your last update, swear to fucking God, I literally yelled 'no!!' And a tear slipped out. Don't die!!! Please!!!!