Magic - Comments

  • swell

    swell (150)

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    Layout/Summary: The layout is really cute and I love the teddy. I'm intrigued about the title and how it ties in with Harry, some cute as kid and the mother. A small summary would have been nice though, the prologue would have been a great summary to fill in.

    Prologue: Although the prologue was short, it was interesting and definitely drew me in. I liked the connection between Payton and Harry, although it was unclear whether Harry knew about his kid. When you talked about Harry going back home you changed tenses, and it would make better sense if you changed it all to past tense. Otherwise, I liked it.

    Chapter One: I definitely enjoyed the length of this chapter far better, probably because it was an actual chapter as opposed to a prologue. Night time is two words though, not one. The third paragraph start should be 'I rolled off my bed', without the 'of'. I loved Fin's attitude, as a young child she was so enthusiastic and she was well portrayed. I quite liked the ending, seeing as Fin will probably meet Harry in the next chapter. I'm excited to see how this pans out, so I will definitely be subscribing :)
    January 19th, 2013 at 11:31am
  • minuseg

    minuseg (100)

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    very interesting,
    January 2nd, 2013 at 08:07am
  • Juno

    Juno (100)

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    oooo who is it?!?!
    and i love finley.
    January 2nd, 2013 at 06:11am
  • fault_in_our_stars

    fault_in_our_stars (100)

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    Interested!!!
    December 9th, 2012 at 07:18pm
  • sam winchester.

    sam winchester. (100)

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    I love this already and am most definitely interested :)
    December 9th, 2012 at 05:12pm
  • Lunar.Moon

    Lunar.Moon (100)

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    Very interested!!!=D
    December 9th, 2012 at 02:41pm
  • ineizainsanity

    ineizainsanity (100)

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    interested !
    December 9th, 2012 at 10:42am
  • Juno

    Juno (100)

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    interested! =]
    December 9th, 2012 at 05:28am