A Taste of Sadness - Comments

Indeed a taste of sadness it is.
Breaking the heart and leaving pieces...
Scattering to dust as the news sinks in
That James is gone and her story is fin.

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@ tabula rasa.
Thanks it does. I hope after I fix this it'll be better.

My mothers voice floated through the her door, which she had left open again.
For this one you need to get rid of 'the' or 'her.'

Her makeup as always was perfect, my mom would most certainly be the center of attention at the party.
I feel like this should be two sentences... It just doesn't seem to flow right, for me anyways.

I was glad when they were gone seeing them brought back the memories.
Again, maybe better as two sentences, or changing it to "I was glad when they were gone because seeing them brought back the memories." Something like that or even a semi-colon, maybe.

I was pretty, I had enough money to get anything I wanted. And I had someone to share it all with.
This could probably all be one sentence.

And I think that's about it. At least those were the only ones that stuck out to me the most. Hope that helps!

@ tabula rasa.
I changed the background but if you could tell me where you feel some of the sentences were awkward it would help.

I am one of the judges of the Pick a Present contest!

First off, I enjoyed reading this. You did a good job conveying Lizzie's emotions, I think. I just got that feeling of loneliness around the holiday's while reading this.

A few suggestions:

You may want to go through and just do some light editing on this piece. There were a few sentences that felt awkward. Also, you need to make sure that there is a gap between each paragraph, it is a rule on Mibba and will also help break up the text so it doesn't look like one whole large chunk of words.

You may want to consider changing the background you have behind the text as well. It is a bit distracting and hard to read in some places.

I'm not sure what your prompt was, though, for the contest. Otherwise, I think you have a great piece. You did a great job setting up the scenario, and putting those necessary emotions in. I enjoyed reading!