Eternal Winter - Comments

@ Psychotic Secrets
THANK YOU! (:

Layout: The layout is really cute. I like how it continues across the page.

Summary: The summary was excellent to lure readers in. You added just enough information.

First Glance: It made me curious whats the story is about.

Chapter One: You brought the main character in lovely. I like how this chapter set up her personality, her friends and her environment.

Chapter Two: This chapter had a bit too much detail about the coffee stuff. I would take a little information out of that part and add it to the rest of the chapter. But also this gives a good insight on what might come to the story. So I really like this chapter.

Chapter Three: This chapter was very cute. You introduced the new character well and made him realistic. I like how so far you are bringing in and showing each of the characters. It lures readers in and gives them insight on everyone. I very much like that.

Chapter Four: So far you are building their relationship well. What she says and how he responds is really realistic and relatable. The characters are made well and you are actually giving them life. Personally I would add a few more details but the dialogue isn't too over-powering.

Chapter Five: AWW!!! That was really a cute chapter. I'm curious how the rest of the story will turn out now. Maybe add a major conflict to keep readers interested. But you added more detail to this chapter which is great.

Overall: I think this story is very cute. It's starting out to be a good read for just about anyone. So keep up the good work!

@ discoveringclouds
lol well at least I'll have some idea of where to take the story if I ever get stuck.

@ AhoyySailorr
Well then know for sure, as I am likely to stick around, I will continually insist they get married.

@ discoveringclouds
oh my gosh! You're fun I hope you stick around and keep commenting on this as I update. xD

Well reading never hurts, the internet happens to be close at hand ;)

But be careful diving in, dangerous sharks might bite your fins!

LOL I didn't realize but the fish jokes I just made one second ago...match your name!

@ discoveringclouds
lol living in Illinois I'm just basing the amount of precipitation on what we get here.
I don't even know how I'd go about writing about such shoes.

@ AhoyySailorr
*sigh* Come to Canada. You'll see real snow.

That's dramatic enough. :P I really want to read about and or wear those snow shoes!

@ discoveringclouds
Lol that comment made me laugh.
Um, they don't use "tennis racket type snow shoes" because the snow never really gets deep enough for that.

They should get married! All this gf bf stuff is lame. They just be an eternal couple in their eternal winter!

Why don't they use those tennis racket type snow shoes to walk around?

AhoyySailorr:

Well thank you for finding that mistake for me. I probably wouldn't have caught it myself.
As too the world thawing part, think of it this way. If you're whole life, winter was the only thing you've ever known would you not be a little frightened at the change. It's more of being afraid of change and what the future will hold than anything.

I understand.

I recommended it. Hope you update soon!

vladikavkaz:

You work quickly!

The first chapter was a good introduction, I like how you got straight to the point and hinted at the plot. Adding in the song was clever and I feel intrigued about the context. I feel it served it's purpose.

The second chapter is cute, I like Sam. The end is a little confusing because I imagined that Tegan (and everyone, really) would be more excited than scared about the world thawing. I'm curious. The only mistake I noticed was "You’re change is $9.47" - it should be "your". Apart from that, I think everything is fine (although my English isn't good, so I may have missed something).

Subscribed, of course.

Well thank you for finding that mistake for me. I probably wouldn't have caught it myself.
As too the world thawing part, think of it this way. If you're whole life, winter was the only thing you've ever known would you not be a little frightened at the change. It's more of being afraid of change and what the future will hold than anything.

You work quickly!

The first chapter was a good introduction, I like how you got straight to the point and hinted at the plot. Adding in the song was clever and I feel intrigued about the context. I feel it served it's purpose.

The second chapter is cute, I like Sam. The end is a little confusing because I imagined that Tegan (and everyone, really) would be more excited than scared about the world thawing. I'm curious. The only mistake I noticed was "You’re change is $9.47" - it should be "your". Apart from that, I think everything is fine (although my English isn't good, so I may have missed something).

Subscribed, of course.

What do you mean how did I design my story page like that?

Hi I'm katelyn and I have a profile too :) look me up my username is KatandTay and I like ur story so far:) you should read my newest one it's called : The Perfect Stranger :) oh and how did u design your story page like that? I can't figure it out lol :)