This story could go some place. If you broke up the first chapter into more chapters and expanded the situations, it would do good. It all seems a bit rushed, but doesn't seem like it was written half-ass. I admire the time you took to write a lengthy chapter. But try splitting it up to add more depth?
Please don't take this the wrong way! It's just advice. You don't have to follow it. But aside from those things, yes, it can indeed go somewhere.
This story could go some place. If you broke up the first chapter into more chapters and expanded the situations, it would do good. It all seems a bit rushed, but doesn't seem like it was written half-ass. I admire the time you took to write a lengthy chapter. But try splitting it up to add more depth?
Please don't take this the wrong way! It's just advice. You don't have to follow it. But aside from those things, yes, it can indeed go somewhere.