Dreaming With a Broken Heart - Comments

Pleeeeease update soon :)

I'm really loving this! excellent job! I think this fic was made just for me, Alex Gaskarth and Josh Ramsay all wrapped into one? ;) Love love love, keep it up! :) :)

I could get used to read a chapter every day! It's a pretty nice chapter, really cute. I like when you explain how she is trying to understand her breakup. Can't wait for the next update!

This is so cute, I can't wait to read more!

I'm liking this! I wonder if there will be any chemistry between Alex and Dash...

Even though I don't know All Time Low (I know the band name and that's almost it!), I like this story. It's simply a plus that it also includes Simple Plan, which I am a huge fan! Keep posting please!

Fucking love this!(:

This is so well-written! I can't wait to read more :) <3

Didn't think you would had Simple Plan in this story! But I like that! Hope you post another chapter soon!

Love this story!

I really like how you haven't even thrown the real guy in yet! (: I'm a super huge fan of this and I was so sad when you hadn't written more. I kept waiting and waiting and now here it is. I WANT MORE, WOMAN. MORE. I. DEMAND. MORE.

Thanks~ <3

Your summary was nice it left an intriguing affect on me. It did its purpose on wanting me to know more about these characters in just few sentences, so that was nice, simply and sweet that’s how I love them.

The first chapter was a good start, well written and descriptive to the point where everything made sense. I liked how you’ve written these characters together and even though there are a lot of them, I formally only remember two of them. Dash, of course and Kane and at first it took me a moment to realize that this was written in third person, I was confused as to who was telling the story (silly me).

I plan to read the second chapter as well, but Dash seemed a little boring to me. There was nothing that sparked my interests about her that got me thinking, wow this girl is awesome, now I know there’s more in store for her and I hope she doesn’t come out like other dull female characters that tend to be in situations like these, so I have hope for her. Long distance relationships are hard work and everything that happened with her and Sam was written very real. It takes a strong heart and it seemed understandable for him to break up with her because she’s distance and absent half the time.

It was depressing that Sam stopped fighting for Dash, deep down I felt he didn’t want to, but had to and that’s tough. I would love to see Dash’s mindset from here on out and I know it’s completely going to have in the next chapters. It amazed me how quickly things changed for this girl within a flash, like I felt how fast her smile transformed into a frown. Dash had mentioned that Montréal always made her happy, I could only assume half was only because of Sam, I hate reading break ups, but while reading this one there could have been more emphasis on her band mates supporting her, I believed that lacked.

Overall, this was interesting and a good first chapter. What I liked most was the tense nature leading up to the break up because I was going right along with Dash about what the situation could have been, distracting from what it really was, so that was nice. You had good diction and tone, dialogue wasn't distracting or forced, but at times didn't read well or maybe I was just reading it wrong. What I didn’t like about this was how you described their physical features, I know with third person narrative you kind of have to do that, but to me some of it didn’t sound right with you always pointing out something after they were to say something (could be a preference) but other than that good job.

This line here, The was it, she decided. Something had happened to one of her dogs and her boyfriend and family had decided to spare her the details until she returned to the country. I believed you meant That was it or there perhaps? I’m not sure, but it’s a typo of some sort.

This was the part I’ve been waiting for, support from her friends, and I liked that someone mentioned that it was all up to dash in the end to put it all behind. The quote you used at the top of your summary was the perfect theme for this chapter because it’s completely true. I thought what her friends did was sweet, a gesture of caring and showing Dash that there are other people who were willing to stay in her life and not leave her. I liked that aspect of this chapter and it followed throughout, so yeah. I hope Dash comes together in the next chapter and I understand that her and Sam had been together for five years, but it’s over between them now, she has to accept that and I would love to see how she takes it. After awhile, there’s only so much you could do for a person and she was becoming annoying half way through, I was glad she spoke to Ezra though.

I am in love with that name and I’m glad Ezra is such a likable character too. One thing I noticed about this chapter, (which wasn’t actually bad) was the use of the semicolon. I felt that was being misplaced at times were a comma would have worked better. But as far as style, my impression on it is the same as the first chapter, which has not changed, so again keep writing and may this hold up to every potential possible.

I really do love this. c: There aren't very many mistakes or errors, the layout's neat, the characters aren't dull and boring, which is another plus.
now on to the angst:
HOW'S HE GONNA JUST ROLL UP IN HER VOICEMAIL ALL LIKE
SORRY BOO
IT'S NOT WORKING KTHNXBAI
NO
NO
JUST NO
And Ezra's such a good friend, he's so sweet and kind and I want him to be with Dash, okay? OKAY GOOD TALK.

I love the way you write. Your story is interesting! I can't wait to read the next chapter!

Hey! So, the first thing I noticed about your story, is that the layout is incredible. It's beautiful, and I spent a good twenty seconds just staring at it, because it's awesome. And then I read the first chapter of this, and your writing is just as lovely as the layout. I saw that this is fanfic, and I tried to figure out what it was fanfic for, but I couldn't, so I might have missed some things that people in the fandom notice, but I still enjoyed this. I love the narrative voice you're using, and how you incorporate descriptions while making it really clear that this is a group of characters who have known each other for forever, and really care about each other. Good job!