Terrible Things - Comments

This was very well written gramatically. You really should have made Eric older. This was a very good story in my mind and that is a first since I really hate One Direction. Zayn is very well portrayed in this story compared to other one shots with him. I really think you should make it a full story so you could have more character development and stuff, but I love it!
Never Give In,
Sam

I think your story is very well written, grammatically. I have actually written a similar one shot in the past (but it was Frank Iero). Anyway, I'm not a one direction fan, but I did enjoy the idea behind your story. I would suggest a few changes though. I do agree with Goldyfish, I think the age of Eric is to young. My niece is three and we don't really have lengthy conversations like that. Her speech is pretty advanced, but not like that. I would also say that it felt rushed, but with one shots, it's hard to not seemed rushed. You have to convey your entire idea in one chapter without making it incredibly long. Over all though, I would give it a 8/10.

comment swap...
Hmm... first thought is it seems odd to me that a father would tell this story to his three-year-old son. He talks about dating and drinking and not to mention how intelligent this boys is, knowing his mother's birthday off by heart. I'm a teen and I can barely remember my own father's birthday.

I agree with the dialogue in the story, but when he's talking with his son I think there should be more description.

I love the layout.

There's room for improvement here. For one thing, your layout is pretty basic. It's not very attention grabbing. Also, you use far too much dialogue, and not enough description. It would also be easier if you added a way to tell the readers when you've changed scenes from the bed time story, to current events. You're spelling and grammar appear to be fine, though.

At any rate, I'd say this was alright. Good luck, nonetheless.
-Joe

This is pretty c: you should really keep it up! You're a really good writer! I love the outline of it! C: (y) please keep it up! More stories c: I hope for the best in your writing journey! Lots of love and hope to you! <3 c; c: never stop writing!ever! At all!

This was fantastic! I listened to the song while I read it and I literally finished the second the song was over! Totally trippy. This was adorable I read do hope you win. I think it's pretty amazing and depressing. I wish I could recommend this a million times!

not that bad, and I'm glad you liked my story too.