So i'm your first comment :) Firstly i think you need to double space the paragraphs. I see later on in the chapter you start to double space. I fix the first little bit. Am i meant to dislike Joe already? I also feel that 'Baby' is self centered. I wish there had been a show of what to expect from the story in the chapter. But I do think it's a good start.
February 2nd, 2014 at 01:00pm