Perfect Blood - Comments

You should use paragraphs.

omg...do i hear wedding bells for our innocent and cute main character?!

Your next few chapters are so much better! Some words are wrong and such, but awesome job!! I have to subscribe.

Editing. That's what will really make your story stand out. Your idea is unique, but the editing makes your story nearly impossible to read, and kind of annoying.

I was going to die. Lonely, friendless, and isolated. That's how I feel sometimes.

I click the toe of my new sneakers against the frosted over window. Slouched over in a chair my feet rest on the window sill. Myself engorged in the newest Illnesses and Fatal Diseases book Diseases and Cancers 4th Edition . My mother had brought it home to me.

Cradled in the one office chair I reach out to the coffee table and I grab a pen and a sticky note. I write the word hypochondria and then the meaning a mental condition in which someone worries a lot about their health and thinks that they are ill when they are not.

I push my shoe against the window to spin my chair around and then stick the paper to the mosaic of yellow stick notes. Every one covers the blue paint underneath, defining one more disease I might have/I wish I had.

Yes. I know there are a lot of them. They are reminders for me to ask Dr. Somnia for them. Just in case. I never can get sick, but you're still better safe than sorry.

This has a very good plot line, or idea :3 Can't wait for more~~