Amazing story, also awesome layout, can't wait to read the next chapter :)
January 10th, 2013 at 05:15am
No wonder you like the background of my story! ;)
First 1D story I've ever read, by the way. So you have a lot of expectations to live up to!
The first chapter is really intriguing, which with short chapters is what a first chapter should be. It's easy for the reader to be intrigued and curious and then really want to click the next chapter button.
Her dreams are interesting, and it makes me wonder if maybe she's sort of a psychic or has some sort of connection, mentally, with this guy, if he's real at all. It's a nice touch that the dreams aren't just romantic and lovey, but intense and a little scary.
I'm guessing the second chapter is a dream, and the stream-of-conciousness-like style is great! I've played around with the style of writing a lot. I get a sense of such panicked thoughts and it's vague enough without being too vague, sort of like a real dream. Touch him. He feels it.
This line is great, because you say so much with so little. Whoever is doing the touching is telling the reader that he gets a reaction from whoever he's touching; a look or a movement, and even though it isn't described, we know it happens.
Over all, really great! Not fluffy and silly like so man bandfics tend to be. Great, great job!
