Shadowed Destinies - Comments

Good job! c:

I love the layout it's pretty rad. I like this story, very interesting. The third chapter's first line seems like a run-on sentence. Yeah, it has commas and hyphens but still seems way too long.

In the first paragraph, did you mean to put 'minding my own business' ?

I like the vocab usage in this story, good job. ;D

Thank you so much!

@ Goldyfish
in the prologue, "We were riding it the carriage with Anna and Momma when there was a commotion outside" It should be in.
And maybe in the second chapter when you saying "So they were happy with a little playful kiss here, just to entertain ourselves" I don't know if you meant to put it or if it made since to you, but I didn't too me, I think you should've said here and there, just to entertain ourselves.

@ xXrawr_cookiesxX
What were the errors? I've edited this very thoroughly, so errors concern me...

Comment Swap:

There are a few errors, but I only read finished the 1st and 2nd chapter. I reminded me of Assasian's Creed. Other than that I thought it was good.