I love this so much. It's just so smart and funny and easy to get into. I adore your writing style and the way you convey a character really well in just a few words. You're really talented.
That got a chuckle out of me. So soon in the story, why couldn't you wait? T_T But seriously though, that was cute. Especially the description of tree-hugging Daniel. The vegetarian shit ham sounds disgusting though. And his penis can talk. That's some cool stuff. But dang dude, what'd Daniel's mama do to you? I am waiting. I hope you're writing ^_^