Give Your Heart a Break - Comments

Hi there! I'm the new judge for the To Be Loved Contest and here's me, judging your piece I'm just commenting on the first chapter, since I believe that was what you intended for your entry?

I'm not a big fan on layout comments, BUT MY GOD, I hope you know how beautiful this is. Absolutely gorgeous.

I quite like the first sentence. It's short and attention-grabbing. What takes away from it is the second sentence where you've missed a word. You've got "her fair of crying" when it should be something like "her fair share of crying." There are actually quite a few words missing throughout the piece unfortunately. However, it's nothing a quick proof-read won't fix.

The chemistry between Viri and Austin is insane. I got so caught up in the bathroom scene, I forgot to breathe. It's this line, right here that did it
she looked up at him and saw something in his eyes that took her breath away. She saw love the kind of love she felt for him.

It's beautiful. The intensity of just touching skin is really special. You have a gift for romance.

I really love how you developed the characters in such a full way, in such a short time period. For example, Viri's relationships with Austin's family, and how her and Gielle have some sort of mutual understanding despite their...differences.
You really made me feel for Viri when she left the wedding. I felt that disappointment for her. But I admired how she didn't make a drama out of it. She stiffened up her lip, and dealt with it in the most mature way she knew. It was very real. Great job.

And excuse me while my heart breaks. The hospital scene...I don't even have words for how frustrating that is!

You've made me passionate about characters I've just met. Your plot is very clearly defined. Your characters are realistic. Tidy up on the minor errors, and this is a truly stunning piece. Well done and good luck in the contest!

I am so happy that she found a guy she likes, other than Austin, I have a feeling Silas is just hat she needs.
<3 Michele

I can't wait for the next update. Soon pplleeeaaassseee

Viri cares way too much, but I admire her for not wanting to get in the middle in their relationship.
<3 Michele

Loved it! Update soon? (:

Love it, update soon!!

"Little Bitch" omg i died. aahahahahah

This is wonderful! The absence of Gielle, or however you spell her name, is making me think that they are having troubles . . .
<3 Michele

Update more please I ❤ Austin Carlile

I can't wait to read more :D Great work & lovely layout!

This is really AMAZING! I really think that Gielle is totally wrong for Austin! I mean it's clear to almost everyone that she does not like Viri and Austin close friendship. I really look forward to upcoming update and good luck in the contest too!

I'm so excited for this!

Kari, dear fucking god. I love your writing, haha. This is amazing and seriously I can't wait for more.

btw: You wouldn't believe me if I told you I had an idea like this for an Austin fic writted down on a notebook.

As always, I loved your writing! The layout and banner is beautiful, definitely helped with the reading part. Hahaa. I liked that Viri was Austin's 'best woman' and although she and Gielle aren't the best of friends, you didn't make it sound like they were complete bitches to each other. When she found Austin in the bathroom, I was holding my breath for the moment when he'd confess that he, too, was in love with her and the wedding would be cancelled and their story could start. But, of course, they both chickened out and the wedding went on. It's sad that Viri basically got shut out of his life after the wedding, and in my head, I think that probably has a lot to do with Gielle. When she found out she was going to be his nurse, again, I was thinking "yes! this is her second chance to tell him!" But she didn't. And she didn't really give him a chance to explain or to hear his apology, but I get why she had to get out of the room. Unrequited love is the worst. I like how the quote was the last of the dialogue at the end and how it tied everything together. I really loved this and thank you for entering! :)

OMG, I already love this story.