Moth to a Flame - Comments

I kind of don't trust Akane??? I mean, with my experience with horror movies, you don't trust the creepy, lonely child because they always have an exterior motive and/or are some sort of little demon creature. Plus there was the whole "As Akane walked home she was smiling, her hopes were up that maybe she could have someone to play with and not be all alone anymore." and "... didn’t want to keep having the house to herself, she wanted company, she wanted a friend.". That and she just told Kiyomi to stay with her on a whim. I don't know, I might be reading too much into it, but this is just what I am getting from this story so far, haha.

But you have a very simple yet informative way of writing. You are good at describing things while not making them boring or having too much information. This seems to be off to a good start; keep it up! ^^

Hello there! Part two of your Mibbamas gift ^_^

This is a rather intriguing idearrr. Your writing style flows here so well! I like the transitioning between the characters' thoughts. The prologue was strong, characterizing your characters. The fact that age doesn't matter between Akane and Kiyomi is beautiful. At least they just have someone to keep them company :3

No grammar mistakes :)

I like this story a lot. I'll definitely be subscribing.

You're writing style is so classy and experienced, it just astounds me. The plot is captivating and unique and I wanted to read on after I'd reached the last chapter. Your character development was strong, yet comfortable and not in your face. This, in my opinion, is the best kind. The transitions and sequencing were also impeccable as well. I loved the relationship, too.

Honestly, I don't know what else to say because I very much enjoyed it and have very little criticism. Keep up the good work! xx poison

Naw, this is so sweet. I like how the age difference isnt important, and how they are both happy to just have someone. This is an excellent idea. I didn't see the previous version, but this is great :)

Bookmarked. If I thought the previous one was my fav, then I spoke too soon. This is fabulous.

I like the whole theme around it, the main idea is just amazing. And it features Japanese people, which gives ito the story the air of a manga/anime.

The layout is perfect, the only thing which I would consider changing is the banner cause it doesn't fit with that type of layout.

I really loved the beginning. You did a wonderful job drawing in attention, and I can't see anything that should be changed or fixed. I really loved the line where you're talking how peaceful she was. I also love the idea of this. JUst wow.

So I guess I'm the first one to comment.
Alright let's see...

Okay first off, I love the layout, it's nice and simple and easy to read.
Now with your story, well it's a very interesting story so far.
Just love the title alone, anywho, even though some chapters where short-they were very well done.
(What I mean is they were writing well.)

Also I have not seen any kind of grammar or spelling mistakes so that is a plus.
I can't wait to see how this story ends.