Sick Pleasure - Comments

I kind of totally ended this story with tears in my eyes, even though I didn't think I would

Wow. I'm really glad you recommended me to this story, really. I'm not yet sure if it really fitting my mood of late is a good thing or not, but either way, I really enjoyed reading it. I didn't bother much trying to get any expectation about the story and its plot, thought I'd just give it a go since you said you really liked it, and I can totally see why. You should really be proud of this.

I find it really hard to write stories with a plot like this realistically, or nicely, because authors will often get too emotional and overdramatic, but this didn't happen at all! I wanted to point that out, you're really good at setting the right mood. Did I mention I'm in love with your writing? Bad me is really picky when it comes to writing and even if a plot is good, bad writing will make me lose most interest. You pulled me into this story amazingly quickly. Right at the starter, I already wanted to read on even without knowing what was going on.

I really enjoyed the way you introduced Abby. Like uhm..how do i say this The way Brian gave us more and more information about her slowly, I liked that. And even though that was done, i still found you kind of understood what she was like right away. And that stuck to her through the whole story. I guess I was party expecting some change in her, some kind of softening, but in the end, I'm glad that didn't happen. Life's not always all lovey-dovey and perfect and this was a great example of one great, yet sad mess.

Brian though. I'm in love with his character in this. There's certain 'types' of Brian I enjoy the most, and this one's one of them. Him being head over heels in love, totally blinded by his love for this girls that he can't let go no matter how hard he tries? Jesus Christ, my heart. -heavy sigh- It was so romantic and adorable, when at the same time so tragic. I loved the mixture though, I felt it fitted perfectly. And I really felt his pain reading though, thus I ended up in tears. He was just so...desperate about her in this really amazing way, and it made me swoon for his character. Isn't this the kind of guy we all want? Someone so crazy he takes all your shit and still fights for you over it? I loved him, that's just it. The way he took care about her after everything. And I felt it was a great move, story-wise and for him as a character to end it with her. I wasn't expecting that, to be honest. So it was easier to understand that he couldn't let her go. (which was so fucking asjhdlkasd as well, though I do feel bad for Lena)
Thank you for not going crazy romantic on this, but keeping it as cold as Abby is described, the cold tone fits the story very well. Even if, for Brian's sake, I wished she'd turn and just return his feelings, I liked that it didn't happen. I like this never changing idea. There can't always be happiness, so...

Here's some cuddles for Brian, and for you

I'm so not checking this over for spelling mistakes

Hi there! I'm the new judge for the To Be Loved Contest and here's me, judging your piece

I love your title and it fits with the piece to a t.

Your summary uses the perfect extract as well. It's a great hook. And naturally, the layout also fits in great with Abby's character.

I do think you need to re-work your opening line. It's awkwardly worded and your opening line (to such a terrific story) needs to make more of a punch. Aside from that though, I really like the beginning, waking up in this white bedroom.

I hadn’t even been home full twenty four hours yet, and I’d already found her. I absolutely love this line. It's very powerful.

Your character development of Abby is truly great. From the lack of touching, to the partying, to the charities, and of course the crying scene. It's all very subtle, and yet I feel like it's screaming at me. It's perfect.

I felt so sorry for Brian during the story - like he knows what he's doing but is helpless to stop coming back to her. He's this lovesick puppy and it's heart-breaking.

I particularly liked the attention to detail too - from Abby's apartment, to Keri and Jimmy's involvement.

I struggled a bit with the second memory - I couldn't tell that it was so far in the past until he states that it was a year before he saw her again. I think it was just confusing considering the flashback before that at the party and only a tiny paragraph in between them - I'd maybe take out the "I couldn't remember" because that's what did it for me.

Good on Brian for leaving though, and not in a whole dramatic flourish either. I really liked that - handling the situation like adults.

That scene where she listens to the song is my favourite part of the story. That moment is so perfectly captured in all its realism and emotion. Great job.

I thought the ending was very appropriate. I mean it's unsatisfying if you're a reader who needs absolute closure, but it stayed true not only to their relationship, but the whole mood of the story.

Well done, this is stellar. Good luck in the contest!

Ahhhh. Acabou? Poxa! Esta história é tão... triste. Gostaria que houvesse uma continuação.

Ahhhh. Acabou? Poxa! Esta história é tão... triste. Gostaria que houvesse uma continuação.

I feel so sorry about Brian... but on the other hand he is kinda happy with their relationship, so it doesn't make me feel so sorry... It's still sad though.
I loved everything about this, from the first chapter to the last one; and how Keri tried to give Brian some sort of 'help' instead of having the same opinion as the rest of the guys.
Loved it, really :)

So I really loved this story. Abby kind of reminds me of myself not long ago. This story was so well written (no surprise there ;D) I love that they didn't have the perfect relationship. Sadly, it's more realistic when only one person gives a fuck I the relationship. The song was awesome, too, by the way.

Probably one of the longest comments I've ever written, but this story is so deserving of it.

Love you :)

I feel so bad for Brian! He's caught between a rock and a hard place it seems. I think his feelings are blinding him from the reality that Abby is nothing but trouble. At the same time, he wants to be a good friend and protect her, while also holding out for some romantic spark to ignite between them. "Like some love deprived puppy," as you described in the first chapter.

Meanwhile, his friends are tired of the bullshit and pulling him in the opposite direction. Sticky situation. Can't wait to see what happens between these two!! I hope Abby comes around and maybe Keri's right that there's a side of her we haven't seen yet, something that's keeping her from getting too close to anyone. Hmm, loved the update. I hope there's more soon. C: