Rotten Bones - Comments

Yay another chapter :D update soon and the chapter was great

Yay another chapter :D update soon and the chapter was great

Dear author, I enjoyed reading the interesting summary as well as the first chapter. You have to find a better balance between dialogue and descriptions, it will make the story flowy. Other than a few writing typos, everything else is almost perfect. I like your writing style and I wonder how your characters will. I subscribed because I think this has great potential. Keep up the great work. ~Marian.

Dear author, I enjoyed reading the interesting summary as well as the first chapter. You have to find a better balance between dialogue and descriptions, it will make the story flowy. Other than a few writing typos, everything else is almost perfect. I like your writing style and I wonder how your characters will. I subscribed because I think this has great potential. Keep up the great work. ~Marian.

The beginning is off to a great start. Where it says your 23, it should say you’re 23. I didn’t spot anything else other than that. It’s only the first chapter but so far I like the story, it’s starting out well for a beginning so my opinion is to keep going with it. Everything read paints a clear picture and I don’t see anything wrong aside from making the sentencing smoother but the way it reads isn’t bad, so keep with it!

It's good so far, I am interested to read more :) There are a lot of sentence structure errors that, when fixed, will allow the story to read smoother. Other than that i didn't see any major errors.

Oh but I thought i would just point out this small error:
" I’m not sure what made me stay sitting next to me" I'm assuming its suppose to be him, sometimes its hard to catch small things when you reread it too many times lol.

This is one of my favorite sentences:
"This was not my scene; it was a scene I was dragged into." I think it sets the tone for your protagonist's take on the 'party' life.

Keep it up~

nice start i really am looking forward to the next chapters ..this story has potential just don't turn it into something far too mushy or unrealistic like other stories...update soon!

Three words....this is awesome already,okay four don't shoot :3

i like this i think its original that you made ronnie leave. not alot of people do that