I Didn't Stand a Chance - Comments

I've only gotten a couple chapters in so far. I'll continue, but I figure I should throw my comment for comment swap up here quick before I forget!

I'm gonna start with the cons first, just to get them out of the way. I noticed there were a couple issues with grammar. Usually, before a quotation, you don't use a period. Instead, you should use a comma.

I plopped down on the couch next to Jake and let out a sigh. "Did you have to be that cruel about it?"

After sigh, there should be a comma instead of a period. That's just one example, though. Also, inside quotation marks when they're used for dialogue, if you continue with a paragraph after it, the period should also be a comma instead of a period.

Your story will also flow better if you separate dialogue from different characters into their own paragraphs, rather than lumping them together into one. It's difficult to follow who is saying what if you have more than one person speaking in a paragraph.

Okay, I'm done being mean about grammar. One thing that I really like about your story is that you spend time talking about what your character is thinking and feeling. I feel like your characters have dimension to them, and that means a lot in the big scheme of a story.

I also like that Andy's character is so defined right at the beginning - he's a womanizer, but he also used to be totally different. He feels somewhat bad about what he is doing to Juliet, but he also doesn't want to end it because the sex it good.

All in all, I really like it so far! Great job!

Hi, I don't really like fan fiction so I didn't read the whole thing. However, you have potential as a writer! You kept it interesting and the dialogue was clear and crisp. It was set out well and the grammar and spelling was flawless. I also liked your layout. How did you put pictures at the end of the chapters? That looked cool. I also liked your cliffhangers, they kept the reader interested. It just wasn't my type of story so that's why I didn't read all of it but people who like this sort of thing are going to adore this because it's good!

Love this! Please update soon! :)

Please keep updating! i noticed not a lot of people comment, so that's why i am. this is an amazing story!

Hi, what happend with this story? I like it very much, I would like to know what will happen :)

Oh god the dancing Andy gif <3 Best Interview ever.

Keep up the good work! I'm excited for the next update!!