The Frayed Ends of Sanity - Comments

@ Danny Fenton
thanks :)

Yeah, it is a great idea! I was just a little confused at first because the nurse seemed to be bipolar like Grace at first, haha. But I really liked how you did it now that it has been explained.

@ Danny Fenton
i liked that idea though so i used it

@ Danny Fenton
i liked that idea though so i used it

Oh well I guess that would make sense.

@ Danny Fenton
fear of attachment is how i understood from her explanation

@ vero vengeance
No need to apologize :) Ah, so how come the nurses can't just be kind up front instead of basically hiding how they're feeling towards the people?

@ Lorcan Furey
thanks darling! i promise there'll be more!

@ Danny Fenton
i apologize about the grammar mistakes :P haha as for the nurse, and the clothing, it's mean to be that way. i have a friend who was in a mental hospital and the nurses would show sympathy through their eyes, switch their emotions from hot to cold. she explained that, in building a friendship with HER nurse, she found that the majority of them build a tough skin but most of them try to subtly be a mother/father/sister/brother/friend figure without making it too obvious.

@ Limitless;;
thanks love! there'll be more, i've got time in between classes. college is awesome that way :) hahaha

First thing: the titles you chose for your chapters are brilliant! They really give off a certain vibe, you know? Like I knew this would be a good story just because of the chapter names.

When reading the first chapter it really freaked me out the way you wrote about her cutting herself with the bobby pin, but in the best way, because there was so much detail it was like I could see her doing it. Seriously, I gagged right here in the middle of study hall.

My favorite line of chapter one: "Tears are a small price to pay." SO powerful, in my opinion.

I really liked chapter two because of the character Grace, even though she's nuts I thought she was an interesting character to have.

So far, this is a really original story and it's well worth reading, I'm definitely looking forward to an update!

For one, the Tim Burton quote in the summary is great! I'm a huge fan of him and seeing one of his quotes in the summary of a story on here is great.
However, I noticed a couple of grammar mistakes. Make sure you capitalize the first word of the beginning of your sentences.

For chapter one, I cringed a little when I read the description about the pus colored wall. Ew! Haha, I liked it though. I cringed because you descripted so well that I was actually able to picture it, which is great for any story.
Also, how come the nurse was mean, nice, then mean again? I'm not sure if you contradicted yourself or just meant for her to be that way.
I didn't really like the scene of the main character cutting herself. I think you should go a little more in depth and explain what she was feeling more. The scene went a little too fast for me and I didn't really like that about it.

One thing, when I started chapter two, I quickly noticed that the people there are allowed to wear what they please. However from my knowledge (and I could be wrong) since the asylum is guarded and everything, I figured there would be uniforms as well, just to keep the security normal.
Grace seems, well, crazy. But, I guess it's nice that she had Lilia sit with the rest of her friends.
Once again, the last part of chapter two was pretty good, but I would've liked a little more description.

I actually really like this story and with more description of the more action-y scenes, this could be perfect!

This is amazing! I love they way you portrayed your character and her emotions. You did very well describing the way she feels and the imagery you included was just fantastic!! I can't wait to read more!!