The Sweetest Thing: Hockey - Comments

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I love this story. I think you are doing a great job!!

So this story has become kind of a mess I'm considering rewriting it Whatdo you all think? Should I just keep on writing or go back and clean it up a bit?

Thanks for the feedback guys I've started writing the next chapter and am really pleased with where its going. I hope you guys will like it too!! <3

She needs to talk to him, but she needs some time to think. What he did was a dick move and she shouldn't give in immediately but she shouldn't hate him and never give him another chance if he's truly started to change.

They belong together. Listen to him please!!

Oh I don't know how I feel about this. Her and Berg obviously need each other but things are just so complicated after a big loss like that. And the guys don't necessarily realize how hard it is on everyone else too. Hopefully they can eventually figure this out!

Chapters are so good! Much better setup then before! Keep up the good work! And update soon!

Good story. Only critique I have is to break up the paragraphs into clearer dialogue.
For example:
Instead of " We would spend every day on the beach playing in the sand and water. Coming back down to earth, I embarrassedly smiled after I noticed him giving me a look of curiosity. "What's on your mind?" "Being on the water reminds me why I love it so much. I used to spend summers with my dad in Plymouth and live on the beach. It was some of the best times I had as a kid." "Really? I knew this boat ride was a good idea." He said with a laugh. "

It should be: "We would spend every day on the beach playing in the sand and water. Coming back down to earth, I embarrassedly smiled after I noticed him giving me a look of curiosity.

"What's on your mind?"

"Being on the water reminds me why I love it so much. I used to spend summers with my dad in Plymouth and live on the beach. It was some of the best times I had as a kid."

"Really? I knew this boat ride was a good idea." He said with a laugh. "