Mine. - Comments

I'm here as a judge for the Book Fanfiction Contest.

I'm not overly familiar with Twilight and the characters within the series, but from what I know of these characters you captured them very well. I thought it was interesting that you chose to write in first person from Alice's perspective. I think it gave a unique take on the relationship because of the added element of her visions. I also like that you chose to make Jasper not make up his mind so that Alice couldn't see what was going to happen, it showed how deep their relationship really is and helped develop the characters as you see them.

I did see some spelling and grammar mistakes, mainly using the wrong word in a sentence or using the past tense or singular version of a word. It didn't take away from the story, but if you were to come back to this story I would definitely give it a read just to pick out those little things.

Overall, good job. Thanks for entering!

The only typo I saw was at the very end, the last sentence. You said its where you should have said this, or something like that.

Otherwise this was flawless. I felt like I was reading Alice and Jasper's story, like it was in its own book. You nailed this, so perfectly. I can't get over it. The way she saw the scene in the beginning, and then Jasper detects her lust is perfect. Even the part where Edward gets annoyed.

And who could resist a smut scene between these two? Alice is one banging vampire, and so is Jasper. It was so steamy, and so them. You seriously captured the moment so perfectly. I couldn't help, but to drool a little bit. He can rip my leggings off and throw me against some trees any day. Haha.

The only typo I saw was at the very end, the last sentence. You said its where you should have said this, or something like that.

Otherwise this was flawless. I felt like I was reading Alice and Jasper's story, like it was in its own book. You nailed this, so perfectly. I can't get over it. The way she saw the scene in the beginning, and then Jasper detects her lust is perfect. Even the part where Edward gets annoyed.

And who could resist a smut scene between these two? Alice is one banging vampire, and so is Jasper. It was so steamy, and so them. You seriously captured the moment so perfectly. I couldn't help, but to drool a little bit. He can rip my leggings off and throw me against some trees any day. Haha.

@ Death The Angel

They are mine too! I tried to make it realistic for them. But it was hard. I think their relationship was the best out of all of the Cullens.

This was so steamy, I loved it

Jasper and Alice are my favourite couple from Twilight

Well writen, love the whole story.