Red - Comments

@morshu101 yesss, the shit they come up with is great. the lice episode is definitely my favorite.

@ velveteenrabbit
The metrosexual episode is by far my favorite. Trey Parker and Matt Stone are genius

@ morshu101
thank you for reading! yeah, you're right about the genre, i've switched it to an original fiction. i was aiming for it to be viewed by those who write and read the tom hardy fiction because he was the inspiration for the character and most of the plot. for the prologue i'd wanted to keep a certain air of mystery as to who the people were and what was going on which is why i used the pronouns but for the first chapter i did get carried away. thank you so much for taking the time to comment and give feedback, i appreciate it!

by the way, you're icon? so solid. love south park.

Hey, welcome to Mibba BTW! We are glad to have you. So, the story. I know you are new and everything, but instead of saying what celebrities the people look like, I would recommend just making a separate character sheet. Also, this seems to be more of an original fiction with fan-like themes thrown in, just an opinion. Oh, one more thing. The entire prologue and first chapter were vivid with detail and truly fascinating, but watch your pronouns. It is easy enough to know who's doing what, but still, use their names a bit more often to tell the difference between the doctors, baby, so on and so forth. Some things you may want to consider. This is great, but there is room to grow. Again, welcome to Mibba!