I'm here judging the entries for the Winter Wonderland contest!
Content
I think right from the get-go, what I enjoyed the most about this was how you wrote the twins. They seem so realistic and like all of the younger children I've met and it's difficult to pull that off, so top marks for getting that right! I love that you mention their energy and excitement about Christmas. To be honest, I'm going to be twenty before this Christmas rolls around and I still act like that in the lead-up to Christmas so it just makes the story so much more personal and enjoyable for me to read that. I can relate to the excitement.
The idea of a child being born at Christmas is a little cliché, so I liked that you only had them finding out at that point. The point with the extra stocking was pretty cool as well, what a way of letting your husband know you're pregnant! It would just have added to the excitement around the holiday season. The ending was really sweet too. I'm glad the triplets were okay in the end, I was worried you were going to twist it and they weren't going to survive.
I actually like how subtle your inclusion of the prompt was in this. Most stories like this would have included it a lot more heavily, but it seems to just have influenced the tale and it made for a very different story than what I was expecting, which was pleasantly surprising.
Concrit
The one thing I have to point out is the formatting throughout. Between paragraphs and individual lines of dialogue, you should always leave a blank line in order for the story to follow Mibba's story guidelines. For instance, the following:
Oh the weather outside was frightful, but the fire was so delightful. “Come on boys, let’s go find Mommy,” I said to my sons. We had just gotten back from hockey practice where the twins played together. I knew my wife was decorating the house with the Christmas decorations today and it was the best day for it too. The winter wind was blistering and it made it impossible to enjoy any activities outside, so her decorating inside was a great idea.
should be
Oh the weather outside was frightful, but the fire was so delightful.
“Come on boys, let’s go find Mommy,” I said to my sons. We had just gotten back from hockey practice where the twins played together. I knew my wife was decorating the house with the Christmas decorations today and it was the best day for it too. The winter wind was blistering and it made it impossible to enjoy any activities outside, so her decorating inside was a great idea.
Not only does it keep the story following the guidelines, it also makes it easier on the reader as large chunks of text can be difficult to read through.
The only other concern I had was that this seems to all play out exceptionally quickly. I'd have liked to have seen more from the in-between times, but that's just my own personal opinion as this does still hold well with the time gaps as they are.
Overall
Although it did move a little fast at points for me and the formatting made it difficult to read, I still really enjoyed this! It was cute, sweet and a really nice way of incorporating the prompt. Good job!
Content
I think right from the get-go, what I enjoyed the most about this was how you wrote the twins. They seem so realistic and like all of the younger children I've met and it's difficult to pull that off, so top marks for getting that right! I love that you mention their energy and excitement about Christmas. To be honest, I'm going to be twenty before this Christmas rolls around and I still act like that in the lead-up to Christmas so it just makes the story so much more personal and enjoyable for me to read that. I can relate to the excitement.
The idea of a child being born at Christmas is a little cliché, so I liked that you only had them finding out at that point. The point with the extra stocking was pretty cool as well, what a way of letting your husband know you're pregnant! It would just have added to the excitement around the holiday season. The ending was really sweet too. I'm glad the triplets were okay in the end, I was worried you were going to twist it and they weren't going to survive.
I actually like how subtle your inclusion of the prompt was in this. Most stories like this would have included it a lot more heavily, but it seems to just have influenced the tale and it made for a very different story than what I was expecting, which was pleasantly surprising.
Concrit
The one thing I have to point out is the formatting throughout. Between paragraphs and individual lines of dialogue, you should always leave a blank line in order for the story to follow Mibba's story guidelines. For instance, the following:
Oh the weather outside was frightful, but the fire was so delightful.
“Come on boys, let’s go find Mommy,” I said to my sons. We had just gotten back from hockey practice where the twins played together. I knew my wife was decorating the house with the Christmas decorations today and it was the best day for it too. The winter wind was blistering and it made it impossible to enjoy any activities outside, so her decorating inside was a great idea.
should be
Oh the weather outside was frightful, but the fire was so delightful.
“Come on boys, let’s go find Mommy,” I said to my sons. We had just gotten back from hockey practice where the twins played together. I knew my wife was decorating the house with the Christmas decorations today and it was the best day for it too. The winter wind was blistering and it made it impossible to enjoy any activities outside, so her decorating inside was a great idea.
Not only does it keep the story following the guidelines, it also makes it easier on the reader as large chunks of text can be difficult to read through.
The only other concern I had was that this seems to all play out exceptionally quickly. I'd have liked to have seen more from the in-between times, but that's just my own personal opinion as this does still hold well with the time gaps as they are.
Overall
Although it did move a little fast at points for me and the formatting made it difficult to read, I still really enjoyed this! It was cute, sweet and a really nice way of incorporating the prompt. Good job!