Plaid Shirt Days - Comments

Summary and Layout

I love the layout. The colours all just go really well together and I love how you link the title into the background like that. The summary is short and doesn't give away much information, but it is quite intriguing.

Content

I don't know if I've said this before (I probably have) but honestly, my favourite thing about your writing is the fact that it seems like you spend so much time on your characters. I always feel like I'm intruding on personal moments when I read your stuff and this is certainly no exception. Lucy is so real and three-dimensional as a character and you can really empathise with her when she's reminiscing about Kendall. I love that throughout this, you do get to see the change from the fiery personality to the meeker personality, but I also like that at the end, she writes that little note that seems really nonchalant and brings back a tiny little flicker of that old personality. It's a nice little touch, definitely.

I honestly don't get how you manage to describe relationship so well in such a small space as well. Even from the very beginning you show how important the relationship was and how the breakdown of it has affected Lucy both physically and mentally and that's really interesting to read.

Concrit

Once again, I don't think I saw anything!

Overall

This is a perfect little snapshot into someone else's world. Lucy is real and with the way you've written this, I really do feel for her throughout. The ending made me smile a little, especially with the note. It's a bittersweet ending in a way, and it just works really well with what you were doing throughout. Lovely job!

@ heaven's doorway

Nope, Nickelodeon. They show reruns every morning on Teen Nick.

@ i saw sparks
Isn't it aired by Disney Channel?

@ heaven's doorway

It's not the most interesting or thought-provoking show ever, but the characters are endearing and it's good for laughs. I mostly just use the characters I love and write stuff that I'd never see happen on the show, like sex, drug use, and serious relationships. Big Time Rush stuff has been pretty much all I've written for the past three years or so

@ i saw sparks
I know, exactly! Maybe I'll have to check out Big Time Rush...or at least read their fanfictions. I didn't think it was that interesting when it first aired, but maybe, just maybe, I'll check it out...

@ heaven's doorway

Well, it's always nice to know that my fanfiction doesn't read like the typical obnoxious fanfic She's from Big Time Rush. She was only on there for a few episodes, but she was the only female character on that show I could actually stand.

Oh gosh, I totally agree. Like, I appreciate people reccing and subscribing to my stuff, but at the same time, if someone likes something enough to rec it to their friends or subscribe (especially if it's a oneshot that's not going to get updated), I'd like to know why. It's hard enough to get feedback on oneshots as it is, but I feel like it's not worth my time to post stuff here sometimes because if I get no feedback at all, it's not helping me improve as a writer

@ i saw sparks
Oh, I didn't realize it was a fanfiction! What is she from? And you're welcome! I find it so irritating when people subscribe but don't tell you what they like, and read and don't tell you what turned them off.

@ heaven's doorway

Thanks so much for the feedback, I really appreciate it

To answer your questions, this is a fanfiction, and in the show, the character of Lucy lives in the same apartment building as the four main guys, so that's where she lived in this oneshot. I guess I would assume that, even though she's successful, she's also only eighteen, so living in a huge house would probably be lonely. She lives alone in the apartment in the show, and that's what I intended for this piece as well. I just assumed that since she is moving out of the apartment, she would need help moving her furniture, so I gave her older brothers that came over to help with that

As for the banner, I just saw that picture on favim and the dark hair and fair skin reminded me of the character on the show, along with how Kendall's character in the show used to wear plaid shirts a lot. And voila, oneshot is born.

I'm really glad that you decided to go the more reserved route for the sex scenes. I'd much rather hear about their quirkier moments than watch them be happy together. I thought that you balanced everything well. And I really like the character of Lucy, too. I'd love to read more about her and where she goes with her life from here. But I'm curious as to why she was living in an apartment with her family if she was so successful? Why not have a home?

And that girl in the picture looks really freaking cold. It's winter there.