Ice Cream Date - Comments

This was gooood! Very cute :)

@ Mike.Fuentes
It keeps going "she said" after every character has spoken at the start. Mix it up.

@ The Color Abi
what do you mean 'she said'? I ask because I want to work on my writing and be better at it.
Thank you the comment.

I LOVED IT!!! It was so cute and everything!!! Awh I just loved it and I LOVE YOU!!! THANKS GIRL

The layout doesn't work for this story. It's too wide and too pale; the text should be a pure black if you're going to have no other backing color for it. But I like the banner picture, it makes me think and you need that seeing as there is no summary...

The whole "she said" thing kind of makes this story tiring and stale from the start. I know you're writing this for your friend (which is very sweet of you) but, you should have probably made it a tiny bit less cliche. If I were you, I'd have made it longer with a deeper plot; hell, made it a short, chaptered story.

It's cute for what it is though. Really cute and I hope your friend adores it.