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Ice Cream Date - Comments

  • Post-It

    Post-It (100)

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    This was gooood! Very cute :)
    March 7th, 2013 at 07:26pm
  • The Color Abi

    The Color Abi (300)

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    @ Mike.Fuentes
    It keeps going "she said" after every character has spoken at the start. Mix it up. Cute
    March 4th, 2013 at 08:42am
  • han jisung xx

    han jisung xx (100)

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    @ The Color Abi
    what do you mean 'she said'? I ask because I want to work on my writing and be better at it.
    Thank you the comment.
    March 4th, 2013 at 08:00am
  • Jay.B

    Jay.B (100)

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    I LOVED IT!!! It was so cute and everything!!! Awh I just loved it and I LOVE YOU!!! THANKS GIRL
    March 2nd, 2013 at 02:15pm
  • The Color Abi

    The Color Abi (300)

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    The layout doesn't work for this story. It's too wide and too pale; the text should be a pure black if you're going to have no other backing color for it. But I like the banner picture, it makes me think and you need that seeing as there is no summary...

    The whole "she said" thing kind of makes this story tiring and stale from the start. I know you're writing this for your friend (which is very sweet of you) but, you should have probably made it a tiny bit less cliche. If I were you, I'd have made it longer with a deeper plot; hell, made it a short, chaptered story.

    It's cute for what it is though. Really cute and I hope your friend adores it.
    March 2nd, 2013 at 11:36am
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